Have you ever gotten a feeling of prolonged anxiety that goes on for days and days prior to a significant event?
Well...I'm having that feeling!
For the very fact that my driving test is in four days!
Do I have pent-up frustrations as well? Of course! For one, it's the third time I'll be going through this crap at SSDC. I did badly the second time round (well..not THAT bad. Only 28 points)because my tester was a complete asshole. And I do mean COMPLETE. But that's beside the point.
The point is that today, I was preeetty pissed off because I spent $8.50 rushing from Orchard Road to the school simply because I got held back at home by a last minute diarrhea attack, only to find out that I was late for my lesson. Not like, five minutes late-late..but it was, missed the entire lesson-late!
I just couldn't believe my luck.
Not only had I wasted a good meal's worth of expenditure, I had wasted 21 dollars of my own allowance on a bike lesson which was at 10.30am and not 12.45pm.
And as I walked out of the school with my head slung low in manic depression (and embarrassment), I was asking myself if God was REALLY telling me -after countless prompts from just about everyone else that bike riding is potentially fatal- that bike riding is not my thing and that it's not for me.
I.e. He doesn't want me to get hurt because I have many things left to do on this Earth.
Or perhaps my bike riding skills really suck. But then again, it can't be that because I feel pretty decent on the bike. And yet I see other learning riders who have managed to progress to the next stage of practice continuously struggle with their handling of the machine.
Sometimes people say life isn't fair..I just choose to think sometimes it's God's will. If He wants it, he'll ALLOW you to have it. If He says no then well, expect to bang your head against a wall irregardless of how hard you try.
It actually feels pretty stupid to carry on doing something which you know only results in nothing but you keep trying anyway because your mentality tells you to press on in search of success (never giving up) or perhaps your friends are constantly urging you on. Or maybe it's because being young and naive, you just don't see things the way you'd like to see.
As such, I think I'm going to quit my bike lessons. It's draining a fudging hole in my pocket and I might as well spend my money on better things (such as my Zaitoichi Katana!).
Well God, I've given up one thing...I can only pray..and just PRRRAAY in front of all the readers here that You help me and guide me along the way as I prepare myself for this Friday's test. Help me not to do anything stupid and to keep idiotic motorists out of my way.
So people, do you support my decision? I could always re-learn it when I come out from the army..Let me know what you think
 |
|
Monday, June 12, 2006
 designed by
yenskie
|
|
Quick bits
|
Free Hit Counters