EASILY one of the MOST annoying and irritating bastards around, these guys are amongst the most obvious to spot from a mile away. Some may dress extremely formally (which makes them stick out like a sore thumb), but the more common ones tend to hold a folder with many clear pockets documenting their 'identification' and the 'organisation' they are 'collecting donations' for (as such in the above picture).

(See what I mean? Do you feel like walking away? Hold on! Hold on! Wait! I need your moneyyyy!)

Often beginning their sales monologue- NOTE, M-O-N-O-L-O-G-U-E- with, "Hi Sir/Ma'am!", the chances of these sods landing a sale with me are close to ZERO. More often than not, their MONOLOGUE can be divided into three stages whereby if they're lucky, they manage to exchange a few lines with their targets before getting rejected.

Here are the 3 scenarios:

1. "Hi Sir/Ma'am!" (Person being targeted raises hand and says No and continues to walk away)
2. "Hi Sir/Ma'am! (Person stops to see what crap their about to listen to) "Hi..I'm from the Rainbow of Hope organisation.." (At this point, the person realises the catch and says, "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush." and walks away.
3. "Hi Sir/Ma'am! Ok, I'm not here to sell anything to you but I hope I can get your attention for just FIVE minutes. FIVVEEEE. I'm here representing the Rainbow of Hope organisation...five minutes later...and as you know, these kids are VERY under-privileged so if you could be so kind as to donate JUST TEN dollars (for me to keep in my pocket)...Person realises the catch and two things happen- It's too late and the sucker is forced into making the payment or he does what I do- make a really sad face and say, "I'm sorryyyy, but I don't have the cash with me right now as I'm JUST a student." and WALK AWAY!
   

Person #3: The 'Surveyor'

An even more cunning version of the Gift Pack Salesperson, the 'Surveyor' used to be the only people I could trust on the streets before I found out they were bloody TELEMARKETERS in disguise...

Starting out similarly as their less-successful counterparts with the customary "Hi Sir/Ma'am!", these buggers deceptively follow up by asking a seemingly innocent-enough question- "Would you mind taking part in a short survey for me?"

Having done surveys before, it was only natural for me to empathise with them just to make their lives easier and since it was a "SHORT" survey, I figured I would have the time to help them out. Only to be duped into a scam to obtain my telephone number and personal contacts in a bid to bombard me with various insurance sales policies, promotions and SCHEMES through the wire.

I've learnt my lesson man...Always say 'NO.' to people dressed in ties, polo-tees, polished black leather shoes and armed with notepads and folders.

Person #4: The Student Flag-day Donations Collector.

Not that they want to, but these poor students HAVE the potential to grow up into the turds I just mentioned.

Not that they want to, but they're forced into asking you for your kind donations for organisations that are in need of funding or for the likes of the less-fortunate. In my opinion, these are the ONLY people, apart from homeless old folks and the staff at Kinokuniya, in Orchard Road that you can trust.

Mind you, it takes a shit load of guts to go up to strangers and ask them for money. However, I do have to point out the shortcomings of these students. The one thing they DO NOT understand is that sometimes when we really have no money in our pockets, we really have no money in our pockets; So don't smile at us asking for our money and the next thing we know, we find out that you're cursing and swearing behind our backs, calling us "Assholes" or "Cheap Bastards" just because we don't have change to slot into those tin cans in your sad little hands.

Person #5: The Vacation Tourist a.k.a The Victims

Sure, we dress cool and look good but hey, don't ever assume that we pack huge loads of cash neatly tucked away in the corner of our undies because we don't. As tourists, we've always learnt and lived by the way of, "Never carry around cash in excess with you wherever you go"

In other words, we're the LAST people on earth you want to look to for cash, because we simply don't like being walking bank safe deposit boxes.