Part Deux du RETROSPECT:
So, the day after my competition comes a Sunday. And what do I do on Sunday? I pack up and get ready to leave Melbourne, get ready to go home to paradise where food is cheap, the air doesn't make my skin peel, and where I don't mind hundreds of Asian kids walking the streets because Singapore is an Asian country.
So I got my bags packed, my arse set, and then the cab comes so my arse isn't set anymore because it's shifted into the cab. One more reason why it's good to be back home, cab fare doesn't seem so pricey now after seeing how the cabfare from the motel to the airport chalked up to an insane AUS$87, which adds up to about SGD$110. With that kind of money, I could buy 1)A good bottle of wine, 2)Alot of good books or CDs 3)36 plates of Char Kway Teow and 4 cups of Kopi-O to wash it all down.
20 minutes later and a shitload poorer (for the federation that is :D), we arrive at Melbourne international airport where once again, we're in overpriced territory where food doesn't come below AUD$8. But I didn't care. As soon as we checked-in, I went straight into customs. And I knew I was in heaven. Right smack in my face was the duty-free liquor store. And you know what I love about Australia? You guessed it..it's liquor.
Cheap booze, good wine..everything man. And the best part? You could buy any amount of liquor as the Australians permit in their duty-free laws, and they wouldn't check your passport. So that means, you keep the booze you just bought in your bag and dont take it out. Once you land in Singapore, you go to the DFS again where you're entitled to AND GET TO BUY 1litre of spirit and wine+a 6-pack of beer and what do you get? ALOT OF ALCOHOL. Now, some of you may say,argue and whine, 'But then they have customs what!' I'll tell you, piss off. Because in case you didn't notice, those shittys are USELESS. They don't even send a cute little beagle to sniff out your bags for bad-smelling perfumes so don't tell me they check your bags and shit.
Another good thing about Melbourne which I frankly coudn't believe was geeeez, they had FIVE-LITRE bottles of spirit. Johnnie Walker, JD, Smirnoff, holy shit, they had it all in FIVE-LITRE bottles and these bastards were so heavy, they even gave you it's own little pull cart to tow it along. I could imagine myself buying a keg (as I call it)putting all of it's glorious, divine 6 kilograms (including the weight of the glass bottle)into my hand carry bag and hiding the entire stash to myself, not even letting some retarded customs officer know about it. Only before heading to DFS to get the other liquors I didn't get to buy the first time round. Man..what I would do to hug that big bottle of mine to sleep. But would I pity the poor soul who would actually dare intoxicating himself with the entire dose, serving only to kill himself instantaneously.
Then it's on the plane for a long, eternal 7 hours back. I think the flight back must've been the worst flight I'd ever been on. Nothing to do with SQ's excellent food,service and in-flight entertainment but it seems that a really bad joke to seemingly stretch time must have been put in place because I couldn't get to sleep, I had watched all the good movies I wanted to watch, eaten all the bloody food served to me (including the sides which my coach didn't eat), gone to the toilet 100 times and yet we still weren't in Singapore.
7 longggg, painful hours later, it's home sweet home and hello DFS where I indulge in buying myself a lovely bottle of Iniskillin Icewine (highly recommended, readers!).
So with everything done (and smuggled), I walk through the sliding doors and I'm HOMMMMEEEE!!!!!! How did I know I was home? Well, the gays were staring again. I didn't get that in Melbourne really. I made a gay friend there but he was so much better than the arseholes who were looking at me like a piece of meat.
Welcome home to Singapore! The island where shopping's decent, food's cheap, sun shines all year, girl's are only all right and most guys are downright stupid. Ahhhh,it's good to be home!
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Wednesday, October 12, 2005
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