So how many things can you find in Singapore that begin with the letter 'D'? I'd tell you it would be plenty yet most of which would be utterly stupid.
Let's cut to the chase and begin with the ever popular conversation starter of D-R-I-V-E-R-S (pronounced dry-verse). I was fortunate enough to witness the true imbecilic nature of the people who obtained their licenses by means of uncanny miracles when I saw, not once but twice, two cars almost getting their front fenders smashed in.
The first incident simply baffled me as to why such incompetence even existed. A driver in a blue Honda- whose identity shall not be revealed- mad a rash decision to speed out onto a main road, which was preceded by a Stop line, even though he was aware of the travelling of an oncoming vehicle. Even if the driver in the blue Honda had a death wish, he didn't have to carry it out at the expense of other motorists. That was just plainly stupid.
The second incident took place on a crowded road during peak hour traffic. Unsurprisingly enough, this other driver proved that he truly was, just plain stupid. So you drive a nice big volvo (which coincidentally, happened to be blue), and you assume it gives you the right to speed at 90km/h on a tiny three-laned road while cutting a pick-up's path without signalling? Mind you, you're probably the very reason why they put up traffic safety public announcements in the media. Why don't you give the Volvo to me instead? I'd rather you not waste it by ultimately wrapping your car around a tree.
I reckon that these people get motivated to drive with pseudo-expert mentalities upon watching a stupid movie starting with 'D'. It's called Initial D. Many of you might think, 'Stupid Sherwin, Initial D begins with 'I', not 'D'!'. But think again, one definition of 'Initial' is- to begin with; or to start with. So ahah! Initial D='starting with' D. But that's beside the point I want to make.
Anecdotally, I was having dinner 2 Sundys ago at Tiong Bahru Plaza when I walked by a local home entertainment retailer- Poh Kim VCD- where I noticed that there was a crowd of four to five men (notice, men only [??]) gaping, slack-jawed at a TV screen displaying the Initial D movie. And it struck me like the apple falling on Newton's head, why would anyone want to pay 8 dollars and 50 cents for THIS?? You see a car or two winding left and right on hills with more curves than Sandy on Villa Wellness; you hear the unceasing screeching of tyres; and eventually end up trying to act like Jay Chou's character- Takumi.
So why would anyone want to pay such an amount to become Dizzy, Deaf, and Dumb? I suppose that's why it's called Initial D. It's up to you to think what that 'D' could possibly stand for.
Another thing I can think of D (and perhaps the last for this entry) would be that Dirty-minded Dickhead of a pervert that sits on the benches in a fitness corner that I walk past every morning on the way to work. And I swear by this when I say EVERY MORNING. I assume he's already probably there from 8am once rush hour begins and leaves once all the 'hot young ladies' have headed to work, which would normally be about 9.30am. The thing which really pisses me off is the mere thought of what goes on within the contaminated mind he possesses. I've already noticed how everytime he tracks a woman for 30metres, an unshameful grin takes form on his face. Honestly, I cannot help but glare at this chap because from the outside, he seems like any ordinary middle-aged man; perhaps with no sex life, but still, an ordinary middle-aged man armed with (excuse the pun) two arms, and two legs.
If I were his mom -URGH- I'd be thinking, 'Two arms and two legs? Go and get a f*cking job.'
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Tuesday, September 20, 2005
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