When you've grown up in the same flat for 18 years, you can't help but notice how things change around you...for the worst. These things include your family members, your tastes in fashion, and last but not least, the place I call......eh never mind.
I'm very happy to announce that my thirteen year old kid brother made a 70kilo C&J attempt tonight. For one thing, most kids his age (in Singapore that is) couldn't even lift such a weight for their age for the simple reason being they have no sodding idea what they're even training for.
Rayner, I'll be looking forward to that fight when you grow up! Hah!
My sister and dad are pretty much inert and inactive which leaves me no choice but to target my only mom. Sad? Hmmmm...I'll think about that.
Mom, you brought me into this world..with dad's help of course and I don't know whether it's a blessing, or a curse. Likewise, when I made you cut your stomach just to make you look slim again, I had no idea if I was the one being taken for a ride.
18 years on, I think you're extremely strong for a mom but also the perfect example for the Menopausing post-menopausal bitch. It's thanks to you that the whole house is a pig sty and a bloody disgrace but actually, I'm pretty much grateful I have a home!
I can never have guests over or friends come and stay over with me, being the graceful queen that you are (read: sleeping on the couch while watching TV after eating), the amount of shit in here is actually your masterpiece.
Don't blame me for being an unfilial son..All I ever do is train,study, stay out of trouble and get scolded for 'drinking beer and pissing all over the toilet' when in actual fact, none of the above mentioned even happened. You see, my mom's got a special condition called para-fucking-noid assumptionitis. It's not contagious but it sure is fucking annoying.
So apart from the usual bouts of shouting, "Who drank beer and urinated in the toilet??", she keeps USELESS CRAP in the house, she has para-fucking-noid assumptionitis where I get accused for causing damage to brocolli and her food, yes brocolli and being shouted at every two days for the MOST stupid things is not exactly my idea of fun; nor is it a very promising way to cap off the year and kick start a new one.
I can just imagine myself at my friend's place for the new year count down where I've just finished taking a leak and she appears at the doorway shouting at me, "So YOU'RE the one who drank beer!"
"Mom...it's a fucking COKE for Christ's sake.."
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Tuesday, December 28, 2004
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