I ran...but as I approached the end, I fell..and I fell hard. It hurt,both outside and in.
Scrapes and cuts on my hands and knees felt like tickles when I thought about the pain which sweltered up inside.
I was devastated when I realised that this meant another injury. No..it couldn't happen, not two weeks away from my competition.
The angst and the emotion was too much to bear. I broke down.I cried.
"Why Lord?Why at this time?" were there first words I uttered from the mouth that just couldn't seem to speak. As I struggled to stand up with a swollen kneecap and cut hands, worry and confusion fired and darted all around my brain, hitting me with pictures of anything worse that could possibly happen. I staggered and took a step at a time. Ironically enough, the pain was numbing me and inhibiting my ability to feel.
As I walked, a tear trickled down my face..My legs felt as if they were being weighed down by anchors as I approached the stands of the stadia 80 metres away.
I stood there, an emptiness of my heart, a bitterness in my soul took over. How odd it was, to endure such a feeling yet try to console yourself at the same time. All around I looked, no one was around..I was alone. The dark gloomy sky painted a scenario right before me and then I heard a voice.
"With the darkness,comes the light. Each dark period will only try to test you and put you through a gloomy trial. But after each trial comes a resolution. When the darkness is gone, the light will shine and so will your spirit. Because you have stood up to a test."
The sky was cloudy, it started to rain and I looked up to see.
"Would there possibly be any light that would come at all?"
And as I said that, the clouds started to shift. Almost like a reflection of my predicament, the light was etching in and breaking the darkness as I stood on in the rain. I was uneasy..I was still trying to make myself feel happier but here it was, happening right before my very eyes. If I could say it was happening, I would say God was showing me what he wanted me to see. If it was anything he wanted, it would have been the light, the joy and the grace He brings..
I stood on and the sadness left me..I smiled.
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Friday, November 12, 2004
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yenskie
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