Very well then, let's go on to the topic of...THE ARMY. Why is it that I am never ever surprised whenever I hear about post-adolescent men going into the army, several things happen.
1.)Their IQ drops several points
2.)They start and end every sentence with some abysmal swear word associated with the female genetalia.
3.)They start and end every sentence with something to do about having sex with spiders.
4.)They come out black.
5.)For some reason, they all walk and dress in the same stupid way (Ever seen these people before?).
6.)They find a new found sense of patriotism, so much so that they think Singapore has THE potential (just that little bit of potential will do!) to win a World War.

So basically, the army just makes our men ruder and cruder doesn't it? All right..let's give them the benefit of the doubt..Sure, they come out all disciplined and all; but just how much more disciplined to they get? After all, some come out and they're still hooked on cigarettes, hell, when it comes to the toilets, some of them STILL can't aim right! I wonder if some of you girls have noticed, everytime a group of NS men get together, they first thing they talk about is how their CCB SAH-GENT made them lahn ten CLICK in de moh-ning ah! The fact of the matter is, the army just doesn't make anything good.. Speaking about toilets, let's talk about the evolution of the toilet in recent years.
Now, in every man's lifetime, they encounter 3 kinds of toilets. The seated toilet, the squat toilet, and the porta-pumper. Leaving urinals out of this, since they already can't aim, let's focus on the first kind of toilet. MEN. Right, leaving the seat up is not that bad. But my God, the next time you idiots wanna pee, please do it with the seat up and NOT down? Bearing in mind you gotta remember to AIM as well ya? The squat toilet, now I'm not a fan of this one but holy shit, and I do mean holy shit, this is something I call the shit magnet. For some reasons guys just can't seem to point their backsides in the right direction. Come to my school and you'll know what I mean..but bloody hell lah, your asshole also need targeting one ah? My goodness, to put it crudely, you basically find shit on the floor and not in the hole which was built there..
Finally,on to the porta-pumper...now I've heard alot of stories about this sadistic contraption. Some army guys, they go to camps or outfield training and they have the luxury of having the portable toilet at their disposal. BUT, it turns out to be an instrument of torture...Now from what I've heard, you better...BETTER use it first thing in the morning when no-one's around and do what you gotta do. If you gotta shit, do it...if you can't shit, force yourself to cause when evening comes, all I gotta say is God be with you, all Father,Son and Holy Spirit as well. Of all things, you find shit EVERYWHERE ELSE EXCEPT in the damned toilet! shit on the floor...heck even the bloody walls also have ah. It's so disgusting I tell you..I havnt been in the army but hey, I'm not looking forward to it, the jocks in the army and I sure as hell ain't looking forward to scrubbing any bloody toilet infested with someone else's deposits all over the shop..
It's just sickening isn't it? Anyway, remember that army21 poster that goes something like, "The mud on my face is soil, Our soil." I just think it not only sounds stupid, it's so propaganda..But come to think of it, are you sure that's mud on your face? Check if it came from the porta-pumper...heh.