Go Funk Yourself!

2006-11-05T17:09:00.000+08:00

If Singapore was run by the Military:

IF Singapore was run by a militaristic government (we'd be in biiiiiiiig trouble),

1)"Ch**-by*" would be a very common greeting used in place of "Hello".
2)Shower voyeurism would be totally acceptable.
3)There would be no need to pursue a degree..It wouldn't even be recognised.
4)To get to work, people would have to march along the streets while singing hit army songs such as 'Training to be Soldier'
5)There would be no more fat women (and maybe men) due to the combination of daily cardiovascular exercise and miserable meal portions.
6)All meals would be catered for by NTUC Foodfare.
7)Fish would chew like a rubber dog toy.
8)Business with North American and European countries would be non-existent due to the apparent inability to construct proper and concise grammatical sentences in English.
9)Your news would be highly regulated and controlled. Compulsory articles would include recent promotions of officer ranks. There would be no obituary pages as all deaths would be covered up.
10)Because of such control and regulation in place, Singapore would therefore be a communist country as all employees would be paid the same minimal starting rate of $350 inc. meals and accomodation.
11)Smoking would be a chargeable offence outside of designated times and places.
12)Love would cease to exist as men and women alike would be prohibited to make contact while on duty.
13)We would have no tourists due to the repulsiveness of sweat-reeked T-shirts used for days on end without proper washes.
14)Chinese-educated families would be rich due to the absence of Gambling!
15)The combined IQ level of the entire nation would be a negative and any hint of sanity would all be lost by the 10th day.

2006-10-21T23:52:00.000+08:00

I need someone to interpret my dreams for me! To find out what the things I dream about mean, and what implications they may have.

Last night I had dreamt of myself in an unidentifiable building. It had 7 floors. It resembled a shopping centre but I wasn't too sure. The building was dark, my surroundings were cold. It almost seemed like I was perpetually in the night.

There were queues. Lines of people at almost every turn I looked. Rows that seemed to resemble the crowd of indifferent faces outside a nightclub just waiting to get in.

I remain oblivious as I make my way to a lift, not knowing where I want to go. I step into the box thinking about pizza. Inside, a Caucasian girl I do not know stands with her little sister. I glance at the little girl with a blank stare but they get off before I do.

The doors close and the lift propels me to a floor that says '17'. It felt like a scene out of a horror movie where you are entrapped in a lift, and a supernatural entity torments you, striking fear into your heart as you struggle to comprehend what's happening.

The lift remains at the 17th floor before it plummets back down with speed. "16..14....11...9...", my eyes only catching momentary glances before the display eventually slows down and comes back to '1'.

Reality hits but oddly, I' still thinking about pizza as I walk out of the elevator. The shopping centre is still strangely dark. And I blink.

When I open my eyes, I'm in a car. It's snowing around me. It never snows in Singapore but I see white men all around. I see a man I know as Alexander Karelin, a famous Olympic wrestling champion undefeated for 8 years.
I see another man known as Igor Vovchanchyn..a famous fighter. I turn, and I see a woman in a headscarf walking on a snow-covered pavement. The roads are old and barely paved..Surely I must be in Russia.

In the car, Althea is sitting next me and I carry on driving. I do not know where my hands take me but I reach the countryside before I turn around and head back in the direction of the city.

I travel past an elementary school and a fire station and I see many cars. When I return to the city, I make a left turn at one of the junctions. Alexander is still there, eating ice-cream...in the snow.

I turn to my left, but Althea is gone. I am alone, but it is unusual, people appearing and disappearing.

I return to the dark building and the car is mysteriously gone. I walk back inside, the queues are still there. I walk towards one of them and get in line but I don't know why I joined. I grab someone I don't even know and they don't seem to mind. They follow me as I go.

Now, I am walking to the other end of the building. It is a small building.

I see a pizza stall selling 20 inch pizzas of all shapes and of all sizes. I want to have a slice so badly, but I do not have the money. The stall is closing up and I look at the guy and girl selling pizza. They smile.

I know the guy. He wears glasses and plays the bass. His name is Juan, but he's Chinese.

I walk away knowing that I do not get any pizza, but I am not sad. I take a walk up the escalators and the building is taking shape. It resembles Far East Plaza. The restaurants and cafes all gathered at the top floors.

I stand next to a railing and I peer below. I see my brother outside an arcade and nothing else. I beckon him, but nothing happens. I speak, yet there is an absence of voice.

And then, I wake up....and it's daylight.

2006-10-10T23:21:00.000+08:00

Sorting fact from fiction about Kim Jong-il is a difficult task - even for intelligence services.

On one hand, the North Korean propaganda machine portrays him as the "greatest statesman of the 20th century".

Loyal communists are told his birth was "foretold by a swallow, and heralded by the appearance of a double rainbow over the mountain and a new star in the heavens".
But I find this to just be absolute hogwash and in my language, it's also known as 'bullshit'.

On the other hand, South Korea provides a stream of bizarre anecdotes painting a picture of one of history's most deranged leaders.
Certainly the South has more credibility, don't they?

Kim Jong-il, or "Dear Leader", is officially head of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea, Supreme Commander of the Korean People's Army and General Secretary of the Workers Party of Korea.

A hard-drinking 64-year-old playboy, he runs the world's most isolationist and centrally controlled nation, often called the "Hermit Kingdom".

For most of his life he lived in the shadow of his father, Kim Il-sung, the first communist dictator of North Korea.

Kim Il-sung, the so-called "Great Leader", died suspiciously in 1994. His son refused to allow doctors into his room after his death (Hmm, I wonder why..Don't you?).
Two of the five helicopters assigned to fly the corpse to Pyongyang crashed, killing the doctors and bodyguards on board.

In his formative years Kim Jong-il is said to have been behind a number of terrorist plots in Burma and the shooting down of a South Korean airline in 1987, which killed all 115 people on board. Even though it is said, I still think we're looking at a maniacal disillusioned demon who has virtually been heralded as a deity by his political minions.

"Well before assuming power, Kim acquired an extraordinary reputation for drunkenness, sexual depravity and extreme self-indulgence. In 1997, after three years of "mourning", Kim succeeded his father -- the first dynastic succession of a communist regime. Analysts say North Korea's political system has become even more autocratic under Kim Jong-il.

He is said to demand absolute obedience, and personally directs minute details of administration, including the size of houses for party secretaries. (He ain't getting a rat's ass from me, that's for sure.)

The Stalinist country is said to have more than one million troops -- the world's fifth-largest army -- and the world's biggest concentration camps.
It bans all foreign books, music and films. And it spends about 25 per cent of its gross national product on defence." QUOTE- The Herald Sun.

During the late 1990s, the Dear Leader's central control style of running the country resulted in extraordinary famine. Up to a million citizens perished from hunger.

The World Food Program and UN Children's Fund produced a report claiming chronic malnutrition had left 42 per cent of North Korean children physically stunted and in danger of intellectual impairment.

In 1998, Kim Jong-il signed a revised North Korean constitution, declaring him "President for eternity". Oh please..SOMEONE...just SHOOT HIM.

The CIA says he has more than $5 billion in Swiss bank accounts, six villas in Europe, one in Russia and one in China.
But Kim has a morbid fear of flying, preferring to travel in his armoured private train.
Now what we all can do is infiltrate his love shack of debouchery, otherwise known as the presidential palace, and kidnap him in his sleep before airlifting him up and away while dangling him from a helicopter.

He is a short man (160cm) but uses platform shoes to make him appear taller, and is extremely vain. He has been married three times, with three sons from different wives and one daughter. But he also has several mistresses, and is reputed to have fathered 13 children outside his marriages. Why is it that all the ugly men get laid? 16 possible children in total..is there any reason why his hair's always standing?

A film buff, Kim Jong-il has a collection of 20,000 videos. But honestly..who cares about his film collection?

What matters to me is that he has a Russified name! Yuri Irsenovich Kim is the name and boy, does it piss me off to know that the Cyrillic language I so love has been tainted by this twat's presence.

Of all the little bits of information I have read, David Letterman tops my list with this excerpt,

"On The Late Show with David Letterman, Letterman frequently mentions Kim Jong-il's "brother", Menta Lee-il. In July 2006, announcing that Jong-il had just been married (to his longtime secretary, Kim Ok, according to South Korea's Yonhap news agency; no confirmation was forthcoming as of early August), Letterman said Jong-il "tried to consummate his marriage, and his wife became Physic Lee-il." Two nights earlier, he noted that Jong-il's "honeymoon's going well; last night, he successfully test-fired a short-range missile."

Of course, if you'd like to know more about our 'Dear Leader', feel free to ravage the page that Wikipedia has to offer. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_jong-il The North Korean dictator certainly is queer.

Essentially, when Kim is compared to one such George W. Bush, it provokes thought on who really is any better. Perhaps that will go down as the next morsel for discussion in my next entry.

2006-10-06T16:08:00.000+08:00

To complement Singapore's Medal Chances at the Olympics, yours truly presents the Top 10 event additions to help the country finally win more medals at the Big Games.

1) Cat Killing - First team to murder 5 cats and place them in a garbage can wins. Hypothetical National Mark - 27 seconds.

2) Longest Discussion centred on a Local Eatery - Hypothetical National Mark - 27 days.

3) Longest Conversation in English without a proper grammatical structure -Hypothetical National Mark - ongoing since the inception of the SAF.

4) The 'how many people can we squeeze into a lift (or MRT Train) before it explodes event.' - Feel the Japanese would beat us ou, but they are not in the Commonwealth Games, so a medal for us. Hypothetical National Mark - 37 Locals or the equivalent of 12 Expatriates.

5) Taxi Stealing. Conducted over 24 hours. Person who hijacks the most cabs wins. Bonus point awarded for thereafter Driving past the hijackee in said cab without acknowledging their existence.

6) The Television Quality Aversion Marathon. Judged by an international panel, the country whose terrestrial television network produces the most number of nausea induced fatalities across 24 hours, wins.

7) Heaviest Schoolbag carried by a child under the age of 12. Can be part of the weighlifting competition. Competitor must be able to walk 1km from Home to Bus Stop and remain standing for a duration of 20 minutes while on the moving bus.

8) Combined lowest Awareness levels while dancing in a night-club. Bonus points for remaining unenthused at higher blood-alchohol levels.

9) Longest Fingernail on a little pinky. Hypothetical National Mark - 1 metre. Bonus points for cleanliness and flexibilty.

10) Most Creative Rude Gestures out a Window while driving in a car. Points for Artistic Style can be awarded.

2006-09-23T17:45:00.000+08:00

Work kinda has its toll on you when 1) You're bored and you've got 'Bored' written all across your face by crayons in different colours and 2) Your eyes hurt and you squint every time you take a glance at the computer placed in front of you.

Just sitting here and thinking back on the past two months which I productively spent here at Mediacorp Radio (don't know if that's the case now :D) have changed by views on the issues close to the hearts of Singaporeans.

And working in a newsroom promotes a cheeky attitude of indifference and skepticism towards the policies of our beloved government, also known as, "The Lee Foundation".

The conclusion of the recent IMF World Bank meeting only made me wonder what good was done to the nation having seized the opportunity to host the convention.

I simply thought it kinda made the PAP look like a bunch colonial lap dogs hoping to receive a pat on the pat for a job well done!

Hurr..job well done my balls. It was downright selfish in my opinion. Of AALLLLLLLL the money that was spent and invested into the meeting to turn Raffles City into the second botanic gardens (which include a 10million SGD partnership with BMW Asia to chauffeur the delegates in luxury), wouldn't one agree with me that even a fragment, a miniscule substantial amount of that money could've have ben used to feed the poor; to improve the health of the sick and to aid the needy?
Even that partnership with BMW alone flaunted more money than the President's Star Charity could ever muster!

So where will all the flowers go now? Will they remain embedded in tainted soil where money needs to be pumped in to hire garderners just to maintain them? If so, wouldn't that prove to be a white elephant?

Or would they remove every single blossomed stalk to let wilt in some random rubbish bin? And even if they talked about giving them away, I would not want to have anything to do with it.

So many things could have happened. Security was stepped up, yes. But with the tightened checks came massive traffic jams and I thought about this for a while and saw it's flaw.. Even if youuuuu, the gaahhhhmennn had checkpoints put up and areas cordoned off, people would still have died should a bomb have gone off in the middle of traffic.

Just like the traffic, time was placed at a standstill. Would they (your elite police forces) have been able to tell which vehicle was laced with death? How highly effective the measures were.

I wouldn't believe for a second if Paul Wolfowitz or Rodrigo di Rato said that we did a good job. These men have turned the job of lying with a smile into a profession. And I wouldn't bank my hopes on them saying anything nice about our government behind Mr Lee's back soon.

Should my blog get closed down or I get hauled up for questioning anytime soon, you guys should know why.
I-N-S-E-C-U-R-I-T-Y.
I would be labelled as a 'political insurgent stirring up turmoil' among the people.
"Disturbing the peace" as Mr. Lee would say.

Hey, at least that would put me on the same level as Mr. Brown, wouldn't it?

But jokes aside, if I do get my ass landed in hot oil because of this post, it would only prove me right in saying that no one in the goverment can come to terms with facing the music and telling it to you in the face, saying, 'I admit it was my mistake.'

2006-09-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

The difference between OUR ex-Prime Minister (now Global Senior Advisor of Citigroup),

and THEIR ex-Prime Minister

Sigh...Sad Case..No wonder Malaysia is still in shambles. OOPS, I meant facing political difficulty.

2006-09-01T23:18:00.000+08:00

It is commanded, "Love thy neighbour as thyself." And the reason is because as humans, an intangible lesson that we must learn is to treasure life and to treasure the people around us because when a loved one departs, you never get that chance to say 'I love you' or to turn back the clock ever again. Once your neighbour leaves you, who else is left that you may turn to?

My friends, life is often neglected until that fateful day comes where we encounter death in its various manisfestations. Some of us may have had close brushes with death. Many of us have understood the effect of death. And many of us have witnessed death claiming the lives of people we may not even know. But always, always treasure life, treating every day as if it were your last. Do not regret the day you lose that chance.

I say this because this evening at 9.50pm as I made my daily pilgramage back home from training, I witnessed the unfortunate loss of a life. Death came as a traffic accident.

The victim was the passenger of the driver of a frozen produce truck that had swerved of the course of its intended path and met the face of a column beneath a flyover with full impact.
As I tried to put a picture to the ruckus, I realised it was too late and I felt gravitated to deliver help.

I plead with those reading this, if graphic details disturb you, I ask that you utilise your discretion.

As I drew closer to the site of the accident, I was able to view how badly smashed in the vehicle's front was. Everything else around was deafening silence as I felt even more compelled to check on the state of the two men that were trapped inside.
The driver was breathing, but it was clear that he was in need of immediate help. I was deeply troubled when my eyes had glazed across to his companion however. Motionless and seemingly lifeless, his body was nothing more than a floppy limp fold that chose to hang over the broken windscreen of a table. I could not see his face, for it was out of my angle of vision. It had protruded and had been flung too far forward for any bystander to see. All I saw was the back of his neck, head tilted to the side, blood streaking down his jugular like a thick red line of paint.

Two ambulances had been called. Two firetrucks ploughed through the road before stopping over, creating a momentary diversion. I wanted to help so badly while my heart screamed out for God to save the life of the passenger that was still sandwiched in the vehicle's cabin. It was in painful agony that I stood, watching the teams pry open the doors in a desperate fight against time; in a bid to save the life that was wearing so thin and so quickly.

But as I stood and watched even more, that slither of hope that I had seemed to etch away into the surrounding black night. It was all a flurry of confusion as the paramedics and the firemen bravely fought the evils of doubt and upheld their duties as keepers of life as they freed the doors of the pulverized truck.

This was where my heart felt the greatest sadness when I saw it was too late. As the passenger who had been laying there all the while was moved by the paramedics, urgently attempting to detect the slightest response from a body seemingly devoid of life.

What told me to stay put and chance upon the state of the victim myself I do not know but when his head had been lifted up, my entire stomach had turned itself inside-out as I fought to hold back any tears that were trying to escape.

It was too late as I saw his face. It had been mangled beyond recognition. The entire right portion of his face had been literally diced to pieces as the gory mess of his skin hung in shreds that resembled the mince beef you find in supermarkets.
Blood poured out of his ears and his neck was broken and twisted in the most obscure of angles, presumably from the impact of the collision.

Through that moment where I captured the haunting image of devastation, an image that seemed so horrific and grotesque, I knew I could bear no more. I removed myself from the site and placed myself amongst the crowd of bystanders that had gathered to witness the spectacle, stirring up fodder for next-day gossip.

As I stood and reflected upon the very words I had heard from another witness, I held back the tears even more and remained silent before taking my exit.

We never know what may happen in the course of our lives but let us take the efforts to bond closer in love and harmony, making every effort to treasure each other count.

2006-08-31T13:52:00.000+08:00

It's pretty unbelieveable how fate brings me across to find new friends. I could say it was an opportune moment when I saw that street sign that bore the name, 'King George's Avenue' two days ago.

I remembered having read I-S magazine a couple of weeks back during work and it just so happened that therein lay a comprehensive article on the various combat sports available in the commercial circuit, as well as the combat academies that were around. For some reason or another, the only one I bothered to remember was the Budo Academy addressed at none other than King George's Avenue.

By the time I chanced my eyes upon that sign, bells were already ringing in that little Notre Dame up in my head and I knew I had to keep my eyes peeled or miss out on the opportunity to observe how people run these academies as well as to observe how the athletes train.

When I had eventually ended up next to an old warehouse of a building, my eyes began to do what they did best yet again- To home in on specific targets.
Which meant that before I knew it, I was looking at the logo of the Budo Academy itself. And there began my quest to master the art of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

For those of you who have NO CLUE about what BJJ is, it is essentially a highly technical and effective form of ground combat (or ground fighting) in which a much lighter and smaller opponent can submit a bigger, more powerful assailant through the use of leverage and submissions (joint locks and chokes).

The origins and history of BJJ however, I shall not touch, lest you'd be looking for a cure to that insomnia of yours.

So three bloody flights of stairs later, I come across a door with absolutely no clue about what's behind it but since I had already gone that far,I told myself, "This is it. If you don't step through, you're stupid."
Swarmed with courage and a potential for embarrassment, I open the door hoping to make a silent entry but nooooo...The door just had to have a silly chime attached to it that went, 'DING DONG!'.

This was a bell designed to announce the Queen's arrival anytime anyone stepped through. But when I did, I saw a guy and a girl getting it on on the mat. (What are you dirty people POSSIBLY thinking of?)

A guy and a girl were practicing their jiu jitsu on the floor. I later found out that the girl was the chief Judo instructor at the academy, as well as the administrative manager and the guy was her student. Both were Judo-kas or Judo players as one would say and it just so happened that they were awaiting the start of a class.

Lucky me eh? First the street sign, then the academy, then the unknowing couple, you would think they'd invite me to join them for a training session next right? If you did, kudos for being spot on. Before I even know it, I'm decked out in a Judo gi (the uniform they use), white belt and all and these school boys suddenly march through the door as if on cue and the next thing I know, I'm throwing (and being thrown by) people around.

What a way to spend the afternoon..so during the break, I seize the time to ask Mel, the chief instructor, how I could start learning BJJ, when the class dates were, the class times and most importantly, how much. As soon as I heard how organized things were, I told her, "I've got to join this. I know I'll have alot of fun here, I'll look forward to returning AND I'd definitely be back tomorrow."

Well, I did return the next day, but I didn't expect to wake up in the morning sore and unable to move momentarily because I had been using my muscles in a way I had never done before- Dynamically.

I've always been interested in combat sports such as Wrestling (greco-roman & freestyle), Judo, Karate, Sambo, Muay Thai and of course, Jiu Jitsu. And alot of these sports give people the impression that they'd die in the course of learning it or that alot of people get killed but if that really was the case, you wouldn't even hear of them in the Olympic Program, let alone being practiced in this country. Correct?

If anyone's interested in coming to take a look at the Budo Academy, come look for me! We can have a great time!

The people there are great, the training environment's extremely conducive, you'll have a great workout and have a lot of fun (all while getting in shape and burning fat!). Or you could just go to www.jagsport.com and get in touch with Mel!

Hahahaha..Free Publicity!

2006-08-28T11:26:00.000+08:00

SINGAPOREANS CANT BREAKDANCE...PERIOD!

Unless you happen to be these Korean guys (and girl).

2006-08-25T01:03:00.000+08:00

the Peacemaker
Thanks for taking the test !

you chose BX - your Enneagram type is NINE.

"I am at peace"

Peacemakers are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me

If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don't like expectations or pressure.
I like to listen and to be of service, but don't take advantage of this.
Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit.
Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It's OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally.
Ask me questions to help me get clear.
Tell me when you like how I look. I'm not averse to flattery.
Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings.
I like a good discussion but not a confrontation.
Let me know you like what I've done or said.
Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life.

What I Like About Being a Nine

being nonjudgmental and accepting
caring for and being concerned about others
being able to relax and have a good time
knowing that most people enjoy my company; I'm easy to be around
my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What's Hard About Being a Nine

being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
being confused about what I really want
caring too much about what others will think of me
not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often

feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
tune out a lot, especially when others argue
are "good" children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Nines as Parents

are supportive, kind, and warm
are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

The Enneagram Made Easy
Discover the 9 Types of People
Harper SanFrancisco, 1994, 161 pages

You liked the test? so please don't forget to RATE it...
but remember! it had only two questions!!! ;-)

you wanna know MORE?
so check out, what Wikipedia says about your type...

...even more you'll find in Google

or do you prefer to

You are not completely happy with the result?!
You chose BX

Would you rather have chosen:

AX (SEVEN)

CX (TWO)

BY (FOUR)

BZ (FIVE)

My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 22% on ABC

You scored higher than 32% on XYZ

Link: The Quick & Painless ENNEAGRAM Test written by felk on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2006-08-25T00:13:00.000+08:00

You scored 21 Angel, 38 Saint, 32 Demon, and 5 Devil!

*Angel - you are a pure, gentle person, who would rather sacrifice himself/herself, rather than witness the suffering of a fellow human being. (Or just a liar who'd rather fudge answers to make themselves feel good).

*Saint - you are close to an angel, but there are some limits to your fuzziness and sweet personality.

*Demon - you aren't completely evil, but pretty much not going to try to save somebody from a swimming pool if that means you are going to drown too. Hey, there's no use of two of us dead :-)

*Devil - Fuck 'em, plain and simple. Their lives are no more valuable than mine, and I don't mind taking someone else a knotch or two, so long as I get what I want!

It is safe to assume those with to many scores on Angel or Devil are sort of wacko! Personally, the inner two are the best, we all can't be perfect, and we can't all be pure evil.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Angel

You scored higher than 99% on Saint

You scored higher than 99% on Demon

You scored higher than 99% on Devil

Link: The Horrible Questions Test written by pentelho on OkCupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2006-08-22T21:24:00.000+08:00

Random thoughts that have been going through my head all day:

Hmmmm, I'm going to be veerrrry moody once the effects of my diet kick in.
Mannn..I wish I could eat that coleslaw.
(Before entering house) Hmmmm, I wonder what's dinner. (Enters house, sees dining table) Shit, why'd she go to McCafe again?
After shaving, my face sure does look naked..
What random thoughts, now I'm gonna take all of them, and put them on my blog.

Ha. Ha. Ha.

2006-08-20T21:52:00.000+08:00

I know I have people reading this blog. I know my friends read this blog, but I've yet to let them know that I long to rant and fuck about my woes. I am really sorry for the use of profanities at the moment but I have come to the point where I just feel disappointed with the way I live, the life I live in and there can no better adjective to describe my situation other than Flustered.

I thought I would have been able to enjoy the way I am living now. I thought I would have at least been able to do something for myself but why do I find a huge void (maybe two) in my life?

The hardest part about painting a picture is always the start.

But with broad strokes, perhaps I could identify two aspects of my life where I feel as if I am so social pariah. Ashamed of my predicament; cursed by the repetition; and helpless as a fool.

I have a family. A father, a mother, a sister and a brother. We live in a flat and we are never short of food. On first glance, we would look complete, we would look like the ideal family.
But I am deeply saddened by the fact that I don't even have a father I can trust, I don't even have a mother who can never be gracious and kind to society, I don't have a brother who strives for ambition, though I say that I can only thank my sister for giving me crucial words of advice along several critical points of my life; including those when I contemplated suicide at the age of 13.

I thought I had it made for myself. I completed my tertiary education, I got my professional qualifications, I made my connections, I created my friendships, I learned my way around, I nailed a job I enjoy, I train in the sports that I love, I thought I could do something for myself but no. I am a sod that has nowhere to go and nobody to turn to know because of stupid events that take place.

I confide in myself. I tell myself that one day, I want to live by myself where I am free to dictate what I can keep and what I can store. How I can decorate my interior and how I can furnish it. But because of the way things are now, I can never come to enjoy and live even a normal life anymore.
Did you know that my house is in such a mess that I can't even have guests over now? Not because it's unliveable but because of all the shit that's lying around that even embarrasses me to think of how my friends would react.

I can't believe I couldn't even end dinner on a good note today because of my mom.
So everyone arounds me says I should love and cherish my parents while they're still alive but why does it have to be this way? To everyone who reads this entry, I can't even have a happy relationship with my mom or dad where I can hug them and tell them I love you, simply because they're not like that.
I couldn't even end dinner on a good note simply because my mom acted all fucked up and rude to the service staff who attended to us. I walked out of the restaurant seeing three black faces and as much as I tried to say sorry on my mother's behalf, it didn't seem to work.

I didn't even know what to say. You know how you've encountered people who seem uneducated and talk to you as if you owe the world to them? Yea, that was my mom for you.

As friends, would you still be with me even if I needed to cry? I may be a tough guy, but doesn't every man need a break once in a while too?

I do not know how to explain what it is like living everyday with fear of rejection and of loneliness. It is just so painful. And try as I may, my heart cries out for the person I can say, "I want to be with you" day after day. Yet it's so difficult simply because as humans, we are unable to determine or forsee the outcome.

Sometimes I feel as if the very reason as to why I can't ever have a girlfriend is because of my family...the stigma that is associated with such a predicament. Yet no one understands how desperately I try to break free from it all. To show that I want to provide for others and bring happiness instead of angst or disgust.

One would never accept the fact that I have such a mom, that I have a dodgy father and that I am not even given a second chance so much of the time simply because there is a fear for the potential for a relationship breakdown because of their behaviour.

HELP ME, I cry..I've just never hit such a stage in my life where I feel so ashamed of myself, of who I am, the family I live with. I just want to turn things around and start afresh by myself, to give myself a chance in the hopes that for once, I can truly know what it is like to have loved ones. But if you do know it's you, please talk with me...I don't want to be alone anymore.

I want to love again.

2006-08-19T01:05:00.000+08:00

Big Five Test Results

Extroversion (54%) medium which suggests you average somewhere in between being assertive and social and being withdrawn and solitary.
Accommodation (62%) moderately high which suggests you are, at times, overly kind natured, trusting, and helpful at the expense of your own individual development (martyr complex).
Orderliness (72%) high which suggests you are overly organized, neat, structured and restrained at the expense too often of flexibility, variety, spontaneity, and fun.
Emotional Stability (60%) moderately high which suggests you are relaxed, calm, secure, and optimistic.
Inquisitiveness (60%) moderately high which suggests you are intellectual, curious, imaginative but possibly not very practical.

Take Free Big Five Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

I could be somewhat of a recluse...Hmmmmm...

2006-08-16T21:50:00.000+08:00

It was a pretty eventful day I'd have to say.
With little time, I make this rhyme
Sounding so happy and gay.

What am I talking about..Let me get Strrrrrraight to the point.
Went out for brunch with Alts today cause I had this sudden URGE to try out the mee pok she always told me about (HONESTLY K, it was REALLY a sudden urge. That's why I called at 8.30pm the night before).

And when I got to the market, my eyes were treated to a wonderful gastronomically-optical delight. Sounds pretty ironic doesn't it? To put it simply, I saw the amount of food available when I first cast my eyes on the place and I didn't know what to say lah!
Mee Pok, to Tang Yuan, to Chicken Rice, to Goreng Pisang, to Black Carrot Cake..whatever I could possibly think of was there.

I don't know..not only was I stunned like a koala in floodlight when I saw the choices placed before me, I was SPOILT FOR CHOICE.
Just like a greedy fat kid in a candy store, the only words that were going through my mind were, "I want this, I want that..aiyah, EVERYTHING LAH!"

And thus came the Piece de Resistance. When I couldn't take it any longer and succumbed to temptation, I called for the first round of food. Kudos to Ms. Tan for making the order.

For a moment, I thought I was possessed by a ravaging beast that had been starved for a millenium when I ended up with 2 and a half bowls of Mee Pok, fishballs, ketchup and all; with the half bowl coming from her who couldn't finish it :D

Then came the desert. A thick gloopy bowl of almond paste accompanied with silky, creamy glutinous rice balls. Oh...if that wasn't Heaven, then it would be sad if Heaven didn't have Tang Yuan (but I'm sure it will!)

Washed down with a refreshing glass of Soya Bean milk with Chin Chow jelly. Believe me, it's alot better than it sounds and it doesn't take a medal of bravery to give it a try.

As if that wasn't all, something in my head told me, "Ey, now go get your chicken rice. Mix both roasted and white chicken and take-away."
Thankfully, she came along and reminded me to add the black sauce and the chilli sauce.

Wah biang, when I walked out of the market, I flipped. I didn't know what made me do it and why, but I was thankful I worked out the night before during training.

2006-08-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

It's lovely how a picture speaks a thousand words doesn't it?
With just ONE picture, I can sum up what I think about 3 things!

1)This is what I think about Singaporean youths and how apathetic they are
2)This is what I think about Singapore Idol contestants (for the occasion I am extremely elated that Rahima is finally O-U-T)
3)This is what I really think is in Jacinta's head.

2006-08-04T22:35:00.000+08:00

Are Concessions Really THAT Difficult?

I think I've just about had it up to HERE with the LTA and their ridiculous policies..

First it was the cab fare hike. Then it was the bus and MRT fare hike announcement. And now they're jacking up the ERP prices again.

If you ask me right, the CTE, the PIE, the SLE and the ECP (the more commonly used expressways) already have such high volumes of traffic each and everyday. Do you REALLY think that increasing the price YET AGAIN will do ape shit and reduce the traffic??

Of course not! Being such a smaaaallll country, these expressways are already the only means to get around in a short time; especially for those who rush to work. The reason why we have to use the expressways is because the bloody damn main roads are already clogged up!

You see the link here? Main roads jammed force motorists to use expressway -> Motorists gather on expressway to avoid crazy main road traffic -> More traffic jams begin to build up -> INCREASING ERP RATES DON'T HELP!!

Let's look at it this way...using the simple rule of multiplication and volume, XYZ number of people are paying $3.00 (for entry onto the CTE between 0830-0855hrs) at the moment which would give us a total amount of $3XYZ. This excludes all other expressways during the different times. And when you think about it carefully, that is ALOT of money!

But the $1 million dollar question that everyone is asking is, 'Where does all our money go??'
And now that the ERP rates are going up again, us Singaporeans would DEFINITELY like to know where the money REALLY is going.

Do you really think raising prices would deter Singaporeans from taking the expressways? NO!
Bloody hell, you all got so much money, why don't you build bigger roads instead of installing more f-ing gantries??

They're not solving the problem at all. Instead, they're just making alot of motorists alot more unhappy. More often than not, my parents curse and swear more at the number of gantries than the traffic jam that is on the road.

I hope those clowns get their act right soon. Otherwise the excerpt below would be a typical conversation commonplace in coffeeshops:

"Wait later outside my toilet also got gantry ah. Want to shit, must put in cashcard and then wait for 'beep' then can go through. After shit finish also must wait for 'beep' another time. Cannot just walk out liddat..Otherwise kenna fine then you know ah."

2006-08-01T22:53:00.000+08:00

Why is the government increasing the fares on public buses and the MRT system once again???

I'll tell you why.

You see, everytime the relevant transport authority proposes to implement a hike on the fare, they KNOW people are BOUND to make noise.
They KNOW we're GOING to complain. But they also KNOW that we CAN'T do SHIT about it.

So to them, they KNOW they can get away with doing WHATEVER they want to do.

Sure, you draw a little flak, you get blasted a little bit for creating an inconvenience. But what is that when you KNOW you CAN GET AWAY WITH IT?

It's so screwed up. Really..internet regulation or not, I am going ahead to say my peace. Honestly, NOBODY gives a shit about stupid threats that are just utterly ABSURD.

Back to my point, this is basically WHY they are able to get away with it. It's so stupid that it's tremendously retarded.

The authority hikes the fair-> They know people will protest-> But do they give a shit? No. ->They take the noise for a while because they know, eventually, being a completely COMPLIANT nation, we'll shut up-> They then go ahead and raise the fares for the simple reason of JACKING up their revenue to build MORE stupid useless structures before labelling them as 'Tourist Attractions' when other industries are clearly under-funded-> The reason as to why no one dares to openly stand up and make noise? Because the gahment will find out who you are, kick you up the bloody behind, and land your bloody ass in jail for 'speaking bad' about it.

How will they find out? I don't know leh..maybe through internet regulation or something liddat. Hor Mr. Lee?

2006-07-30T14:38:00.000+08:00

What a Sad, SAD piece of DOG SHIT you are, Mr. President.

2006-07-25T23:34:00.000+08:00

Are Singaporeans All that Uncultured?

My answer to that, is 'Yes'. When I say Uncultured, I would like to emphasize that I do not mean Uncivilized.

The Spanish have their Fiestas, the Brazilians have their Sambas, the Cajuns have their Mardi Gras and all we Singaporeans have (or claim to have) is our food.

Wow..It doesn't get any more original than that. Sure, use food as an excuse to make up for the disappointing lack of essence that allow our citizens to be proud of something.
Unlike us, countries such as those in Latin America don't move, yet their styles, their flavours travel everywhere. Salsa, Meringue, you get the point..

And what do we have? Our food. So what exactly does our food have that makes it SO SPECIAL? Is it the variety? Is it the flavour? Or is it the hawkers that behind the stalls that and yell at us for orders and curse and swear at us after we make them?

To be frank, I really don't think it's any of the above. So we have Char Kway Teow. We have Nasi Lemak. We have our national pride and joy happily (and originally) named, Chicken Rice. Which, as its name implies, is a creative pairing of poultry and grain. But at best, only their names and their reputations surpass their ability to travel into other nations. We can't really boast about our food when I really believe that that are many other countries out there that have dishes far better than ours.

Taking away the fact that Char Kway Teow is horribly overpriced in Australia, I think we actually have a very pathetic culture in which we do not have anything special to showcase.

Is there truly anything UNIQUELY Singaporean?

How about a form of dance? An indigenous martial art? A genre of music? You get the drift.

Even if you were born in Iran and were uneducated, you'd still be able to learn how to make a living out of making doumbeks (hand drums) and become a merchant.

Here in Singapore, if you were uneducated, you'd become stupid, you'd be ostracised, you'd be looked down upon, laughed at, not given a chance to live a life.
You'd become an asshole, be cast into a home and neglected.
Basically, if you were uneducated in Singapore, you'd be shit.

Because unless you're a genius of a college drop-out like Bill Gates or extremely hardworking, you wouldn't stand a chance in Singapore. That's what happens most of the time.

So it would really be a refreshing change and heartening to know that there will be something we, as Singaporeans, can be proud of. Something original, something native, something cool Lah!

Well..I guess we still have Singlish....

2006-07-23T22:38:00.000+08:00

"Why Mike Tyson was Never Computer Literate.."

2006-07-21T22:03:00.000+08:00

Rules: Bold the following that are true about you, italicize things you wish were true and then add one true thing about you.

I miss somebody right now.
I don't watch much TV these days. with Youtube and DVDs..who needs to?
I love olives.
I own lots of books. Well, not many, but at least 15.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to play video games. People don't know I have a PSP ;)
I've tried marijuana.
I have been in a threesome.
I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy. Not unless you're dealing with a conman.
I curse sometimes. Sometimes..not all the time.
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
I'm smarter than the average. Whaddya want me to do? Bold 'I'm dumb as you' ?
I've broken someone's bones.
I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
I hate the rain.
I'm paranoid at times.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I love sushi.
I talk really, really fast.
I have fresh breath in the morning.
I have long hair.
I have lost money in Las Vegas.
I have at least one sibling.
I have worn fake hair / fingernails / eyelashes in the past.
I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
I like the way that I look.
I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
I know how to cornrow.
I am usually pessimistic.
I have a lot of mood swings.
I think prostitution should be legalized.
I think Britney Spears is pretty ugly. (But I've never thought highly of her though)
Slept with a suitemate.
I have a hidden talent. Unfortunately it's still hidden, and I havn't seen it yet.
I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single.
I have pecked someone of the same sex. Or rather, have been pecked.
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
I love to shop.
I would rather shop than eat.
I would classify myself as ghetto.
I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
I'm a pretty good dancer.
I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch MTV on a daily basis.
I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months. Who needs 6 months? One week will do!
I've rejected someone before.
I currently like someone.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future.
I have changed a diaper before.
I've called the cops on a friend before.
I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
I'm not allergic to anything.
I have a lot to learn. And that goes to everyone in this damn world.
I have been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
I have at least 5 away messages saved.
I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
I own the "South Park" movie.
I have avoided assignments at work / school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum. You'll never get this chance in Singapore.
I enjoy some country music.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza. <--I'd rather eat shit.
I watch soap operas whenever I can.
I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story".
Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
I will never watch Spongebob Squarepants, and I hate it.
I have dated a close friend's ex.
I like surveys / memes.
I am happy at this moment.
I'm obsessed with guys.
I am punk rockish.
I am preppy.
I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
I study for tests most of the time.
I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
I can work on a car.
I love my job. (I'm a Muay Thai and Self-Defense coach, let me in if you're interested)
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot wherever I can.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I love sea turtles.
I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
I believe in prophetic dreams.
Plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I'm proficient on a musical instrument.
I worked at McDonald's restaurant.
I hate office jobs.
I love sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went to college out of state.
I am adopted.
I like sausage.
I am a pyro.
I love the Red Sox.
I have thrown up from crying too much.
I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved. Well, I fought alot as a kid
I love kisses.
I fall for the worst people.
I adore bright colors. I do not speak about ridiculously mismatched colours labelled as FASHION.
I love Dear Abby.
I can't live without black eyeliner.
I think school is awesome. (It would be if students didnt come out so rotten nowadays)
I think pigtails serve a purpose.
I don't know why the hell I just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I don't like multi-textured ice cream.
I think John Cusack is adorable. More than adorable.
I love coaching youth sports.
I can pick up things with my toes.
And I love my legs.
I like shutting doors with my feet.
I can't whistle.
I can move my tongue in waves.
I have ridden/owned a horse.
I still have every journal I've ever written in.
I can't stick to a diet.
I talk in my sleep. I've done this before though!
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
Climbing trees is a brilliant past-time.
I have jazz in my blood. More Samba than Jazz.
I would not be friends if they weren't family.
I wear a toe ring.
I have a tattoo. (This'll come in August so it's as good as having one)
I love vaginas. A select few..Can you honestly say you don't?
I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I know who Santos L. Halper is.
I read trashy romance novels and I am ashamed.
I love wrestling. Hey, I love grappling, remember?
I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
I cosplay or know what cosplaying is.
I have been to over 15 conventions.
I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
I'm an artist.
I have an unhealthy Taco Bell obsession.
I have had a crush on a cartoon character when I was a kid.
I have spent more on anime and manga than many spend on computers or other high end products. (You sad, sad people..)
I only clean my room when necessary.
One thing true about me: I enjoy thinking of ways to silently kill people, so don't piss me off.

2006-07-19T00:06:00.000+08:00

From Pyongyang to China,
From Iran to Lebanon,
From Lebanon to Israel,
From Israel to Britain,
From Britain to the US...

Could this be, the Road to War?

2006-07-16T22:38:00.000+08:00

Waking up with a hangover this morning definitely wasn't fun, AT ALL..
but being at the party last night sure was crazy.

I have to admit, I was in a terrible state though. And after it all, I never ever want to touch a single ounce of alcohol, AGAIN.

It's so bad. I don't even want to think about it.

4 shots of vodka, 4 glasses of moet, 3 shots of amaretto topped up with cider. All was fine until Mohit came along and chugged a quarter of a bottle of JD down my throat. Hmmm, if I did my calculations right, that's about the same as 7 shots. Man, that was like the knockout punch delivered by Mike Tyson.

It's weird though, how liquor gives you this innane boost of courage to do shit you never thought was possible. Such as running into walls and trying to do Capoeira on the dance floor. It was a good thing I didn't try to impersonate Olympic class Hurdlers.

Being an invalid is possible when you're drunk. Paralyzed from the waist up, and retarded from the waist down.
All the while, your brain's functioning and you hear people. You don't move but everything else around you does. Your legs wobble and you stagger; I had to be assisted out of MOS last night (which was crazy) by Julian. And here were some of the lines I heard him tell me:
1) "Sherwin! Sherwin! Can you hear me?? Wake up! Wake up! (and he slaps me on the face but I can't feel it or move)
I then get up miraculously before finding the dustbin for a quick game of hurling (not curling) and follow after Julian and Manish to the VIP room.

2) "Hereeee we go..nice comfy couch, nice comfy couch"

3) "Sherwin..Sherwin! Listen to me..we gotta get you outta here before you get banned from the club."
Wow, I never knew sleeping on a couch while being drunk in the VIP room would entitle me to that.

Then on, I am put into a fireman's carry by Julian and my ass is hauled outta club and he brings me to the main road to get a cab. His last words were,

4) "Look, we're gonna get you a cab, we're gonna get you home. Are you gonna be all right? Do you know how to get home??"

and I remember nodding him and giving him reassurance before I black out again.

It's weird. How alcohol screws up your body. Yet my brain was allowed to keep working; somehow being aware of my surroundings. It was almost like a paradoxical joke- My brain laughing at my body, "Haha! Look at you now!"
THAT'S where I remembered that the scoundrel of a cabby took me on a prolonged route home and cheated me of 3 bucks worth of cab fare.
You assholes at Comfort DelGro listen up..whether or not your fares are de-regulated by the LTA, you should buck up on your drivers' integrity!

Fare hike justified my balls..It just makes things worse. Then again, things couldn't have been anymore worse than holding back my puke in preventing it from landing all over the back of my bald taxi driver's head.

I swear, that was the FIRST TIME in TWENTY YEARS, I had ever been so drunk. Before that, I had never vomitted so bad, and neither had I swayed better than Michael Bublé's rendition of the same title.
If only I could've seen the look on my face last night for being able to see yourself shitfaced would be ABSOLUT-LY PRICELESS.

2006-07-13T17:59:00.000+08:00

It is hard to suppress the very
thought of swift justice that will eventually come to my father. But each day I
pray that it will come. I pray for it to be hard justice. Because that is the
only way a man will learn; punishment before forgiveness, it is a formula which
has not failed.How true can it be? That in order to learn, a man has to be
taught a lesson? How much more literal could a proverb be? Easily as we brush
through words and details, we often fail to see the truth.
Read more about my life (Here.)

2006-07-11T14:55:00.000+08:00

I hate getting stared at by Gay men.
I even hate it when I get 'CHECKED OUT' by them.
It's not like I have a defined hatred towards them but the slightest thought of having another man project seemingly lustful thoughts at me makes me cringe.
It's flattering to a certain extent and also in a weird kinda way but man, would it ever be so much better if I had the same reaction from girls my age.

Needless to say, women both below and above the age of 20 can be pretty.
The sad fact is they're pretty much full of shit sometimes (or maybe all the time).
Before tempers flare and cries of outrage denouncing apparent 'CHAUVANISM' let fly, here me out.

I understand why so many women 'don't have time for men' or find it 'increasingly difficult' to trust men but man, this is how I see things.

Women aren't always the sweet, innocent, companions they portray themselves to be because deep down that demure exterior, they'll always be the vicious, selfish and politically-thirsty hounds they desire to be.

They may seem quiet in school, they may sometimes even be underachieving but here's a fact; when they grow up, they become absolute BITCHES who would kill to climb up a corporate ladder at work when they find out about the kind of life they COULD live when they work hard.

Then we move on to you women (yes,YOU know who you are!) who would do exactly the same to achieve exemplary academic results. If I were to land a finger on your books, you'd slice it off before I could say, "Hey I think you're really pretty."

And what's all this rubbish going between all of you about how men have HUUUUGE egos and do stupid things? Hey, hey, hey..now just because we KNOW how to have fun doesn't mean we don't have brains. (The atomic bomb wasn't created by woman with a bushy moustache now, was it? ;) )
If anything, I think women have egos far bigger than men! Oh no?
If we had a chance to take a picture of your bitter little faces whenever you lost to us in a game..the moment would be PRICELESS.
Can't take the heat eh? Heh heh heh.

I guess that's what you would get when you try to live lives like men. To try to achieve what we achieve and solely to prove that you're better off than us.
Well guess what, as long as Periods and Pregnancy are around, it'll be difficult.
Don't go around showing people how badly your mood swings from left to right like my windscreen wipers, we know you NEED to talk, but is there REALLY a need to let go your grip on the emotional control?

And then we have the issue on lesbians. Dykes are just about as f-cked up as a baboon's ass on a mid-winter night's blizzard.

They go around poisoning the minds of the MOST beautiful women and leave us with those who can't make it? What's up with that?
Do you truly expect the next level of evolution to leave us with a species of humans called Homo Looklikeshitien?
And then you huddle in groups and have this deeeep, burrrrrning hatred for men as if we took a shit on your front porch and lit it on fire.

Come on, don't stereotype us like that. You need to understand a couple of things about men. And I'm going to tell you what they are.

1.SOME men may cheat on their partners, but most others DON'T. So don't be stupid and go after some rich idiot whom you KNOW, is only gonna leave you with an emotional bruise the size of the Grand Canyon and a heartbreak as long as the Great Wall of China.

2.Men may be creatures of sloth, but that's ONLY because we want the most EFFICIENT way out of things and that leaves us to normally do things as quickly as possible and with the least hassle.

3.Don't ever accuse a man of not listening to you because we sure aren't deaf. If we have ever seemed to be bad listeners, it's only probably because you were bad communicators.

4.Don't ever butt in a man when he's talking or try to take charge when he already is. You're only gonna f-ck things up.

5.Sure, men may not be perfect. But are you any better?

6.The next time you wanna bash a man, think of how you'll probably end getting bashed up!

7.There will always be good men out there. But if you're not gonna be friendly to those to talk to you, remember two things: The Moon, and the Great Wall.

2006-07-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

Here are just some of the book titles that I've recently been thinking/thought of:

How to get lucky with all the Ladies. - Sumplay Ah.
Why we do it. (Anecdotes on Lesbian Love) - Emma Dyke
All the colours of the Homo Rainbow - Cheech & Chong.
STIs: A guide to contraception and prevention - C. Phyllis
How NOT to have Sex - Gone O'reah
Beneath The Sheets - Summer Luvvin

And my personal favourite:

7. HOW TO AVOID HER PARENTS AFTER YOU GET CAUGHT MAKING OUT - Rahn Lyke de Wind!

2006-07-07T13:02:00.000+08:00

Well, I got fed with the wrong tea two days ago. Leaving me with an incredible case of diarrhea. Was peppermint red tea that much of a laxative?
Truth be told though, going to the toilet 7 times in one day is no joke. On the same note, something else struck me two days ago and it struck me so hard.

I havn't gotten over the fact that it did happen, but two things are for sure:

1)I would never forget the angst he caused
2)I will not be telling my friends what happened until I'm ready to let it out.

Oh what waffling about I'm doing. Saying that SOMETHING was done by SOMEONE but not disclosing what it was.

But something of this magnitude, this gravity, is not so easily digested. Perhaps the venom hasn't seeped in yet. I choose to think of myself as a viper.

Why a viper? Not in terms of symbolic representation- that which is deception- but as a true representation of what I can be.
A viper, small and mostly camouflaged in the eyes of a society that walks blindly.

A viper means no harm unless it is cornered or threathened. Just like any other venomous snake.
Yet if one chooses to go to far, expect to be bitten; expect to feel pain. Much pain. Go too far and perhaps maybe, expect to die as well.

I am that viper..You could call me Copperhead too if you want. I have no intention of harm unless you drive me that far. Cross my path and I WILL bite. And when I do, expect to suffer for it.

2006-07-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

To put on three kilograms to hit a training weight of 88kilos, would that seem like a task to tough for me? Naaaaahhhhh.

In fact, I wouldn't really be bothered if I looked fat. Because to put on muscle, you need to bulk up don't you? Getting 'pudgy' would only be a first step.

So to all you guys, if you happen to say, "Sherwin! You're getting fat!"
I'd say, "Yea..so? I like imitating you."

2006-07-04T13:50:00.000+08:00

Wouldn't it be cool if Singapore had an official Mixed Martial Arts league where fighters (otherwise known as the athletes) would have professional bouts? Imagine the vigour and life it would bring to the atrocious local sports scene where the only sports people are taught are FOOTBALL, BASKETBALL, GOLF and TENNIS- all of which either have a large market audience or rake in large commercial sums of money.

They are nothing but a bane to me.

For those of you in the shadows, Mixed martial arts (MMA) is a combat sport in which two competitors attempt to achieve dominance over one another by utilizing a wide variety of permitted martial arts techniques, including striking and grappling. Well-known MMA organizations include the Ultimate Fighting Championship and Pride Fighting Championships.

Mixed martial arts was originally based around the concept of pitting different martial arts and fighting styles against each other in competition with minimal rules, in an attempt to determine which system would be more effective in a real combat situation. Modern MMA competition is an evolution of such events, but rules have been implemented to promote the sport, while at the same time maintaining as much of the original no-holds-barred concept as possible. There is however no general sanctioning body for the sport, and the sets of rules vary according to organization.
The techniques utilized in MMA competition generally fall into two categories: striking techniques (such as kicks, knees and punches) and grappling techniques (such as clinch holds, pinning holds, submission holds, sweeps, takedowns and throws). Some unarmed hand to hand combat techniques are considered illegal in arguably all modern MMA competition, such as biting, eye-gouging, fish-hooking and small joint manipulation. The legality of other techniques such as elbows, headbutts and spinal locks vary according to competition or organization.
Victory is normally gained through a knockout, a submission, a stoppage by the referee, the fight doctor or a competitor's corner-person, or by a decision by the judges scoring the fight.

Thanks to Wikipedia.com for the detailed explanation.

And how I'd love for this sport to grow in Singapore. People may think it as Violent and Dangerous, but ask that of any martial art- Kyokushin Karate, Tae Kwon Do, Muay Thai and Boxing..don't all these other sports carry the same risk? One shouldn't be so blind as to assume that there are 'safe' sports as there are 'dangerous' ones. After all, a gun is dangerous if held in the wrong hands, is it not?

But I'd like you to take a look at some of my favourite fighters and a couple of matches here. This includes the world heavyweight champion- Fedor Emelianenko from Russia. Human or Machine, he has proven to be the best fighter in the world to date. His only loss in his carreer owes to a cut in his brow he received from a kick. Apart from that, everyone else who's fought with him has lost by knock out or submission. MY kinda guy.

Also included is Mirko 'Cro-Cop' Filopovic. Cro-cop for short, this ex-special elite force police officer from Croatia rose through the ranks beginning with his K-1 carreer and has intimidated every single opponent he has faced.
Famous for his wins, he is even more infamous with his trademark left high kick or high roundhouse to the head of his opponents. And just to give you a better mental illustration of this man's kicking power, he broke the rib of a 400lbs (180kg) black man with that kick. Oh yea, I suggest you spend a good 30 seconds watching this video. You'll never be so scared in your life. Not that I'm scared or anything.

And at the end of the day, you ask me, why do I wanna do all this? Why do you like it? I just say it beats being a coach potato anytime. I like it, but do you have a problem with that? I've never gone around boasting to people about it. In fact, I've always kept quiet about it. Eventually, I'd reeally like to see people give this a shot.

2006-07-01T13:06:00.000+08:00

Forget the grammar, forget the formatting and forget the syntax. That's what I'll do this time round. I ask for the forgiveness of all of you but I just have to bitch about the society I live in otherwise I wouldn't be able to sleep. In fact, that was probably the reason why I kept tossing and turning in bed last night!

But for that matter, there was some asshole who kept staring at me as I was walking down the street past the marketplace just outside my house. The first time I came across this guy was about two years ago when he was smaller but just as stupid. And I was at the busstop while he was in the bus. For no apparent reason, he flashed me the finger and since then, we've sorta become sworn enemies.

Two years later and a head taller, fat and still as unintelligent, he's got tattoos and loud ah beng techno music booming in his car and he stares me down like he wants to pick a fight.

I don't know what's the deal with dogs like him but I had a pretty nice picture of myself putting him away with a slash to the throat with a dagger in a dark alley. (Someone keep me from getting a knife please..)

On the flipside, you have just about every local male above the age of eighteen who pronounces the word, 'Clerk' as 'Clark'. Now phuc that man. I've brought up this discussion before and I shall bring it up again.

Firstly, I don't know who came up with or when it came about or even WHY there are people who pronounce it in that manner. My guess is that the person who started saying the word that way soon had a series of copycat followers who had NO IDEA of what they were saying. In other words, Monkey see, Monkey do.

If you choose to use Queen's English as your defence, please do your revision before you start making an idiot out of yourself in public. We're living in Singapore where our government has been stressing (much to their distress) the importance of a SPEAK GOOD ENGLISH campaign. If you're telling me that you can't make the effort to change the way you pronounce just ONE letter in a word to make a sentence more audibly pleasant, you're a goner. I'm serious..you're RETARDED.

Which demon possesses you to pronounce 'E'..as 'A'??? Is Superman's alter ego spelt as, 'CLERK KENT'?? If so, wouldn't that make him CLARK C*NT? I wonder...

I am someone, who is PROUD to say that I say it the way it SHOULD be said. 'C-l-e-r-k'. And nothing will change that. I do hope that people will wisen up though.

Arggghhhhh...I hate living with spoilt kids. That's something else about me, I don't make friends with spoilt teenagers of today. I think enough of that has been mentioned in the previous post. Therefore, Arrivederci!

2006-06-30T21:55:00.000+08:00

Well come to think of it, I've become pretty much sick of my surroundings.
I've become sick of unfriendly people, sick of indifferent people, sick of ignorant and arrogant people and from here,the list would probably go on.

Though a bus ride a little while ago managed to provoke a thought in my head. That being there are definitely many good and genuine people out there whose intentions are true; you just hardly see or hear of them. And when you do come across these diamonds in the rough, they sparkle like the gems they truly are, leaving you thoroughly mesmerized.

Until that happens to me, I'll just continue thinking that many Singaporean youths and young adults nowadays not only lack in ethical and moral stature, they do not carry themselves with the same integrity and mental fortitude as did the generation that came before us.

I see KIDS barely a day older than fourteen nonchalantly drawing smoke from cigarettes.
I see boys aged seventeen caught up in the latest trend of ugly hair and pink and black-striped bootleg t-shirts.
I see girls of the same age dressed in two fashions- one to impress and the other as undressed. Yet these two groups share common traits- Materialism and Possession.

I have not heard anything but selfish talk over which boy they would yearn to date because of his wealth. I have not heard anything but chatter over goods they could never afford but would not even bat an eyelid over asking someone ELSE to purchase their prized keeps for them. (Go get a job and pay for them yourselves, you skanks)

Male or female, these teens nowadays only have trash coming out of their mouths simply because that happens to be the only thing that goes into their heads.

Now if I were to conduct a study to see how the average Singaporean teenage would fare in a jungle survival scenario(suppose I pick a sample of 100 youths), everyone would pass. Because I'd expect all 100 cell phones to be picked up and dialled for their parents to get help.
Truth be told, given no training and no common sense, our group would fail MISERABLY.

I will not fall into the trap of stereotyping here because I mentioned at the beginning of my entry that there are a small handful of people who do not behave in such a manner. The odds of coming across such people though are slim.

Just what have we become?
Spoilt? That's for sure.
Ignorant? Check.
Stupid and Myopic? No doubt about it.

And it's partly because many of us have been ingrained with the mindset that just about anything can be solved with money. If we come across difficulty, we pay money.If we get into trouble, we buy our way out. Think again. When parents lose their child or when a loved one dies, can your wealth buy back what is lost? Your money becomes worthless.
When you go through a break up, no amount of money you spend on alcohol could ever drown your sorrows.
When you obtain what you desire that is so priceless and invaluable, something else grander comes along the way and you're thrown into another episode which goes full cycle.

People think that I waste my time hitting myself too hard with the facts of reality and what the world truly looks like. But it's all for good cause. People do not know how cold the world can truly be, and I do not want to be the one caught with my freaking pants down for the world to see.

I hope this is a message that will go out to everyone who reads this. Prepare yourself for what is to come because no amount of preparation could gear you for the unknown.
Ironic isn't it? But think about it this way,what if you told yourself you never had a need to learn self-defense?
You decide to take a trip to tour the streets of Germany, and before you know it, you get stabbed and mobbed by a group of racist hoodlums?

Being complacent, our natural instinct would be to assume that such an event would never occur. But I emphasize again, the probability will always be there. It may not be in Germany or anywhere else in the world but open your eyes wider and look carefully, it happens right here on your doorstep.

Maybe what a close friend of mine told me was true, "As a society and a civilisation becomes more affluent, its people become corrupt and loses its substance."

2006-06-29T20:57:00.000+08:00

Things you never knew that took place in my Church...

Aye, just a minute there! "Hold on, Wayne!(in white polo tee) Just what do you think you're trying to do with Jeffrey!?", says Debs, who catches him red-handed directly in her line of sight. (And Sarah finding it funny)

2006-06-26T21:48:00.000+08:00

There is a song stuck in my head and it's been there since I first heard it back in 1998 during the World Cup in that famous video where the Brazilian football team was filmed chasing a ball around an airport.

And again in 2003, I came across that unforgettable song once more as a student listening to it on my Chill Brazil 2 album.

That very song was MAS QUE NADA. Composed by Sergio Mendes in 1966, this timeless classic has stood the test of age and in the process, has set itself as an international standard for Brasilian Samba as we know today. Up until now, there has been no universal translation for its opening chant of 'Oaria rai o. Oba oba oba' and if one were to use the wonders of modern translation technology on the internet to decipher its lyrics, they'd be sorely disappointed to discover that not only do they get a chunk of gibberish for a result, they'd soon realise that the search for an accurate translation would be as good as the search for the Holy Grail.

However, what I have done is that I've taken the liberty of searching for some of my favourite videos and variations of the song (including the most recent re-mix of Mas Que Nada done by the Black Eyed Peas and Sergio himself).

And of course, this was the video in which the song was used for. It would only be fitting for the Samba boys since this song was given life in Brazil.

And here's another variation of MQN done by an animated group known as the 'Tanga Girls'. Be warned, you may think it's a childish gay video, but it's not. I thought this was one heck of a funky rendition and this was THE video that got me brainwashed.

Last, but most importantly not least, for you miserable Singapore Idol fans, here's a man practically unheard of up until now. I don't know WHY he wasn't there when world idol was broadcasted but I am pretty sure that he can give ANY of the American Idol finalists a run for their money.

His name is Angel Duarte, and if I've seen correctly, his name has popped up in some music stores that I've been to not too long ago. In my opinion, he did a beautiful rendition of the song. Believe me, this man whos vocals are just too rich, will be hitting Bossa Nova charts soon. Perfect homage to Mendes.

Unless you have a fascination with the judges comments or for some reason I have not known of any of you speaking Portuguese, you're free to fast forward to the very end of the video after the song(In my opinion though, Brazilian Portuguese is waaaay funky).

For good measure, the Lyrics:

Ohh..Aria rai o

Oba Oba Oba (repeat)

Mas Que Nada

Sai da Minha Frente

Que quero e passar

Pois a Samba esta animados

que eu quero e Samba

Este Samba

Que misto de Maracatu

E Samba de preto velho

E Samba de preto tu

Mas Que Nada

Un Samba como esse to legal

Voce so vai querer

Que eu chegue no final

2006-06-25T22:50:00.000+08:00

Use Gun? Or no Use Gun? (Part Two!)

So from where I left off since the last post, I distinctly remember leaving my readers wondering if bouncers should be handed entitlements to possess arms of deterrence; and by that I do not mean lotsa tattoos.

Barring the possibility that these nightlife security officers will be granted (by federal law) rights to semi-automatics or projectile-dependent weapons of the sort as well as sharp pointed implements, it would be fairly logical to allow the issuing of truncheons (police batons) and perhaps even the use of tazers for security purposes.

Scenario: If an unruly customer decides to get fresh with a group of girls to the extent that he is not aware of his actions, nightclub bouncers can then use their batons to beat the shit out of the asshole (not in a literal sense) or should a group of drunk teenagers step out of line with the law, a nice fresh 1000 watt jolt of electrical currents should do the trick.

And of course, the humane and very logical argument to use would be that no one dies! Yes, people get hurt, but those people probably deserved it. And the bottomline stands, they won't end up dead.

Maybe it's just me..I tend to be an extremely vindicative person who's gotten sick of seeing the same stupid behaviour displayed by many Singaporeans day-in and day-out. And I'm just hoping some big shot club owner stumbles across this post one day and suddenly decides to say, 'Hey! I think I might just do that!'

Because if bouncers keep the idiots out of a club with huge namestake, people would want to go to the club because it is a WHOLE LOT SAFER. Assuming..I said ASSUMING.. drug trafficking/consumption/abuse isn't not rampant (of course, non-existent would be the ideal), that club's reputation would suddenly find itself rocketing sky-high!

Why so? Simply because certain people made it a SAFE place to visit. I'll leave you to guess who they are.

So in conclusion, should bouncers be given to rights to wield batons and very practical, non-lethal stun guns and other deterrents such as pepper spray? I say yes, but only if the proper legal procedures have taken place and clauses have been put in place to prevent the abuse of such responsibility and newfound authority.

Otherwise, bouncers would continue to forever be stereotyped as bar-barians (Get it? Hur hur..).

END!

2006-06-21T16:22:00.000+08:00

Use Gun? Or no use Gun?

Armed personnel for security. Are they really necessary? I sure think they are.
Without a doubt, they are an invaluable and indispensable body of the protection of the public in Singapore, as well as being the backbone of heartland defense.

The one thing these people have in common are their weapons. Yes, they are armed, they are potentially dangerous, and you jolly well don't let your dog piss on their legs.

Take the Gurkha contingent for example. Originating from Nepal, their historical roots trace back to the times where trained Nepali warriors were hired as mecenaries under a protectorate by the East India Company. Today, we know the Gurkhas (or at least the educated Singaporean minority do) to be the tactical guard force of political figureheads and members of parliament alike.
Before the attacks on September 11th, the Gurkhas were a rarely-seen entity in the public eye. Ever since then, these trained and highly disciplined individuals have sprung up on just about every significant public landmark and foreign embassy.

Why so? Simply because they are so damn intimidating.

(Here we see two Gurkhas standing guard during the 2005 IOC conference with random smoker passer-by spoiling the picture in background)

If you ask me, it's not the guns or the infamous KUKRI that they carry that scares me. It's the way their hats are always tilted at an angle. Well actually, I was just kidding. In the event that 1) you have NO CLUE as to what a kukri is or 2) You havn't clicked the link, I suggest you do so right away.

The kukri (also known as a drop-knife) was originally crafted as a utility knife designed to hack away at thick undergrowth and wood. When it evolved into the Nepali weapon of choice, it's primary purpose evolved as well. As you can see in the link, much of the weight of the knife is actually placed more on the front.
But what was the objective of such a weapon? Simply put, it was to hack off a limb or to severe a head off from the body in a single blow. At close range, these things were extremely deadly.

Still not afraid? Here's something else, if you had no idea what these men were famed for, I shall tell you now lest you choose to find trouble with one.

According to the famed legend, when a Gurkha runs out of ammunition, or when he is left with no other forms of attack against the enemy, he draws his blade(as the last resort) in a final 'Do-or-Die' chase to stop the assailant in his tracks. In the event that he fails to do so, he is forced to draw blood from his own body.

This of course, is touted to be an urban legend. But use that brain of yours and you'll find that there is little wonder as to why the Gurkhas are always running around the Mt. Vernon/Serangoon area. (To practice their Standard Chartered Marathon run lah!)

In my opinion, that is THE only item on them that scares the living shit out of me. Not to mention that the very item in which they are famed for carries THIRTEEN centuries of tradition behind it!

But this is where I bring the topic of armed enforcement to the next level.

When we look at bouncers, do we look at them in the same way that we look at police officers or even the Gurkhas themselves? To truth is often given in the negative.

To many people, bouncers are projected as nasty, rude, and party-pooping men clad in black (save for the Ministry of Sound whose security enforcers go in a PINKISH-PURPLE) who stop people from getting smashed and getting laid.
Hardly ever, do people give them the respect they deserve for doing their job.

Now let's be rational for a minute here. I've seen many bouncers who have done their fair share of Academy award-winning performances for being the perfect asshole in clubs before, but I speak out for the small minority who do their jobs well.

When you get idiots who fling glass jugs from one end of the club across to the other and hitting a teenage girl's face in the process, the bouncers do their job- they take action.
When you get men in a drunk stupor stealing merchandise or bar pieces, the bouncers do their job and claim back what is rightfully understood as the club's property.

When fights or brawls break out, who are the ones who bring in the police and keep the peace in the mean time? Ooo, let me see...can it be...the BYSTANDERS? Nooooo.
Ooo, let me see...can it be...the DOOR BITCH? Nooooo.
Well it must be the bouncers then! (Management rarely does anything then so the bouncers must be a logical choice!)

And it's true, more than 70% of the time, these are the people who keep things in check. They may not be the most intellectual of people, but look back and ask yourself if you would be the one willing to take over their positions.

But this is my own personal wonder..Should bouncers, just like law-enforcement officers, be given weapons to deter alcohol-induced violence and disorder? This, my friends, shall be continued in part two of my next entry.

2006-06-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

(Made a couple of changes to the previous post! And apparently, the previous entry got the attention of a couple of technorati surfers!)

Such..is life.

2006-06-19T02:41:00.000+08:00

Green Green Green Green..I like green. The colour of the GREENback, the colour of the armed forces and coincidentally, the colour of envy. I don't have anything to be envious of though. Even if I had, I'd just rant on about it anyway.

Couple of days ago, I came across the standfirst in the Life section of the Straits Times.

On it, were the pictures of five up-and-coming 'stars' from the local blogosphere. One of them was Dawn Yang, another was Nicholas Fang. And my very first thought was, what makes them so special? Their blog's just another fancy show of their pictures and their entries are no more fascinating than garden snails.
Yet, they garner attention because Singaporeans (for some reason), like to suck up to people with status; people who have 'made it' in the media, as I call it.

But is the practice of leaving flattering comments on the tagboards of the rich (and not-so-rich) and famous really necessary?

To the online socialite-ish blogger, fame can only be an exponential cycle with a drastic end. You have a blog which is noticed by an anonymous or random reader from the internet and you either have 1) Good context 2) Good content 3) Good humour or 4) Good looks (with this being particularly hard to find, along with number 2 -apart from mine-).
Then, with that ONE reader being seemingly impressed with their first visitation of your online rant, they soon begin to 'tell their friends'....and begin 'paying it forward.'
And from there, your blog gains popularity and your shot to fame takes aim.
And upon receiving several thousand hits a day,

You'll find that your blog hits the local newspapers or even the local news!
You'll find that your face is in the media!
You'll find that you've gotten a HUGE endorsement deal from a faggot-run company to pose for lifestyle magazines!
You'll find that basically, every slimy scumbag, is clinging onto you because they want to share your limelight, because they want to be associated with you, because they want to be WHERE YOU ARE.

Such...is the nature of commercialism, greed and honest to say, LIFE.

And then, you find yourself hitting a downturn. And you wonder why. You brush it off as JUST as 'passing phase' before finding out that you don't get as many as 6--- hits a day now.
You begin to wonder why you're becoming less popular.
You begin to wonder why people find you stale.
You begin to wonder, begin to wonder..
(Why? Because just like you have, someone else has climbed up the blogosphere ladder. Someone, takes your place..)

Such...is the nature of commercialism, greed, and no need to say, LIFE.

Damn I hate Socialites.

2006-06-15T20:55:00.000+08:00

Gambling..Is it rampant here? With Singapore Pools earning millions and millions of dollars on end each year, is it right to say that Singaporean have, in some way or another, an addiction?

4-D, TOTO, BIG SWEEP, and STRIKE!

The four corners of betting. And with the World Cup at everyone's door (and coffeeshop), what's the harm of placing a couple of wagers on your favourite team?

Recently, a friend of mine made $2200 on a single game! His starting placement? A modest $100...
That's as high as a white-collar worker's starting pay!

The dilemma I face is this, I am in everyway tempted to make a simple wager of my own in the hopes of gaining decent returns. I mean it sounds simple, doesn't it??

1)You place an amount on the team to win
2)You stipulate when the goals will be scored and what the eventual outcome will be
3)If you're good at predicting, you walk away a happy man!

But talking about it with Alts kinda made me think twice. Now, I've got my own personal reasons for not betting. I trust in God to help me make my own honest and happy living and I believe that that is what counts the most.

Moving on, as I browsed through the non-fiction section in Borders, I came across a book written by one of America's most controversial and radical intellectuals as well as writer - Ann Coulter.

Entitled, "Godless: The Church of Liberalism", Coulter challenges the modern face of the United States which has fallen to corruption and ridicule.

It sparks pretty interesting thoughts and here is the synopsis from the book itself.

"If a martian landed in America and set out to determine the nation's official state religion, he would have to conclude it is liberalism, while Christianity and Judaism are prohibited by law.

Many Americans are outraged by liberal hostility to traditional religion. But as Ann Coulter reveals in this, her most explosive book yet, to focus solely on the Left's attacks on our Judeo-Christian tradition is to miss a larger point: liberalism is a religion—a godless one.

And it is now entrenched as the state religion of this county.Though liberalism rejects the idea of God and reviles people of faith, it bears all the attributes of a religion. In Godless, Coulter throws open the doors of the Church of Liberalism, showing us its sacraments (abortion), its holy writ (Roe v. Wade), its martyrs (from Soviet spy Alger Hiss to cop-killer Mumia Abu-Jamal), its clergy (public school teachers), its churches (government schools, where prayer is prohibited but condoms are free), its doctrine of infallibility (as manifest in the "absolute moral authority" of spokesmen from Cindy Sheehan to Max Cleland), and its cosmology (in which mankind is an inconsequential accident).

Then, of course, there's the liberal creation myth: Charles Darwin's theory of evolution.

For liberals, evolution is the touchstone that separates the enlightened from the benighted. But Coulter neatly reverses the pretense that liberals are rationalists guided by the ideals of free inquiry and the scientific method. She exposes the essential truth about Darwinian evolution that liberals refuse to confront: it is bogus science.

Writing with a keen appreciation for genuine science, Coulter reveals that the so-called gaps in the theory of evolution are all there is—Darwinism is nothing but a gap. After 150 years of dedicated searching into the fossil record, evolution's proponents have failed utterly to substantiate its claims. And a long line of supposed evidence, from the infamous Piltdown Man to the "evolving" peppered moths of England, has been exposed as hoaxes.

Still, liberals treat those who question evolution as religious heretics and prohibit students from hearing about real science when it contradicts Darwinism.

And these are the people who say they want to keep faith out of the classroom?

Liberals' absolute devotion to Darwinism, Coulter shows, has nothing to do with evolution's scientific validity and everything to do with its refusal to admit the possibility of God as a guiding force. They will brook no challenges to the official religion."

So in the Land of the Free, is what we're seeing a refusal to admit that there IS a God? One who is true and omnipotent?

I choose to read and to digest these opening words from Coulter's book and at first glance, one is able to tell that this is not just any other woman's opinion that you can tamper with. Not that I condone some of her views (particularly those on arabs and racial profiling), but the conclusion that I can certainly draw from that one book cover is that America and its ideals is not one I'd choose to emulate.

Sure, they gave us democracy, they introduced capitalism which paved the way for business as we know it now, but it also opened up a thousand doors for a nation of stupid people to give themself an excuse to commit crimes, have promiscuous sex while defining it as a part of their culture.

Over here in Singapore, having a set of shared ideals and practices that mirror 'Western Living' only makes the flaws of Singaporeans glare like the sun on Yul Brynner's bald head.

I'd like you to take a look at THIS blog have a rough idea of what I'm talking about. In case you don't who that person is, maybe her former persona (Sarong Party Girl) will ring a bell.
I'm not making her a target of abuse but it really shows that many, MANY people out there are still lost.

It's always the same reaction anyway but if we don't try, we'll live to regret it when the day comes. That reaction manifesting itself in many forms:

1) How do you even know your GOD exists?
2) Why should I believe in some MAN who died on a tree?
3) I'll do what and want and live how I live. I like it..why should I stop?
4)If I go to Hell, I'll go to Hell. I don't need YOU to tell ME.

To live a full life, only to look back and realise how stupid one has been and regret it is one of the hardest lessons people like these have to learn.

2006-06-14T13:10:00.000+08:00

It's amazing..I don't know how I survived or WHAT possessed me to do it but I did it.

I DID IT. I RAN 6.5 KM COVERING MOUNT FABER.

I started from my little block in Telok Blangah Heights and made my way towards the PSA building at Alexandra Road, before eventually turning left at Telok Blangah Road. From there, it was a dreadfully long distance, running by Harbourfront Centre and even arriving at the first entrance of the Keppel Shipyard.

Once there, it was another left for me towards Kampong Bahru past the condos and ultimately towards one bitch of a never-ending hill.

By the time I hit Mt. Faber, my legs could move no further. It felt like all the power had been taken out of them (much like how American-made cars go flat out on fuel in short distances). I was just so damn naive for thinking that the landmark was a simple run up and run down task for me.

By the time I ran by the second private condominium(a nice brick-red estate which can be seen from the road) 300m in, I swear, I was praying to God not to let me collapse and die there; I think I saw vultures beginning to circle.

And THAT...was only just the beginning. The very gates of Hell.

I had NO idea that the slopes there were inclined at 40 degrees. What made it all worse was when I began sprinting up the roads. The body is truly a fascinating thing- When you want it to do things, it tightens a leash around you. Such as when you want to approach a member of the opposite sex and you choke.
But when you DON'T wanna do something, your mind plays an extremely nasty trick on you by choosing to flip that little switch into 'Automatic', and forces your body to push itself to the limits, vehemently against your will.
Such as when your mind says, 'Hey! Go buy that girl a drink!'
(Or in this case, running up a hill which is around 1.5kilometers while in a state of delirium.)

I felt kinda stupid because there I was struggling with the run and rich business people in the shirt and ties in their fancy Merecedes cars were all zipping past me in such a paradoxically casual fashion.

I wondered what was going through their minds at the moment because I noticed that some of them were staring at me as though they had never seen someone exercise in their life. Not to be racist but they were Indian ;)

So one century later, I hit the top of Mt. Faber where I finally decide to W-A-L-K and give myself a breather to recover, and soak up the scenery at the same time. Mind you, it's a good place to enjoy the view. Anyone keen on going with me the next time?

At the same time, I'm wondering how long the stupid run DOWN is gonna be. Fast Forward and I eventually discover that it's another 1.5km, making the entire course from start to finish a good 3 kilometers.

When I began to run back towards home, all that was going through my mind was, 'Shit..I'm hot, I'm sweaty, I'm virtually going crazy and I need a drink.'

My legs were tender,my ass was sore and my thighs felt like they were on fire. All I wanted to do was to take a big pack of ice and nest it in between my sore thighs to cool them down.

All this was done just two days ago on Monday. What took place on Tuesday was just as bad at the gym. It was training with Mr. Tan again and squatting 150kilos worth of weight at 9.30am in the morning sure wakes your body up.

I can just imagine you guys asking, "WHY do you even do this??"
My answer is this, "To keep fit mah! Don't complain about your body..DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!"

All too often I've seen people who are unsatisfied with some physical aspect of their appearance but all they ever do is whine and sulk about it. I just wanna set an example for my friends and the people around me to show that training (as I like to call it), is something that you have to do yourself and it is something you will definitely grow to love.

It may seem arduous to you, but take note, I'm not a runner, I never ran because my sport didn't require me to- that's why it was kinda tough for me.
If you choose to pick up a sport (for weight loss or to shed bodyfat), don't make running the first priority. I've done it too many times to know that running makes you sweat, but it doesn't burn your fat.

Too many people run in Singapore, yet none of them look like Olympic class runners. It says something doesn't it?
To those starting out on an exercise regiment, have the motivation to pick up an activity which you know will challenge you but allow you to have fun at the same time! (Hey, go take up Capoeira but not the ones at the commercial gyms..it works wonders for your entire body.)

2006-06-12T18:03:00.000+08:00

Have you ever gotten a feeling of prolonged anxiety that goes on for days and days prior to a significant event?

Well...I'm having that feeling!

For the very fact that my driving test is in four days!

Do I have pent-up frustrations as well? Of course! For one, it's the third time I'll be going through this crap at SSDC. I did badly the second time round (well..not THAT bad. Only 28 points)because my tester was a complete asshole. And I do mean COMPLETE. But that's beside the point.

The point is that today, I was preeetty pissed off because I spent $8.50 rushing from Orchard Road to the school simply because I got held back at home by a last minute diarrhea attack, only to find out that I was late for my lesson. Not like, five minutes late-late..but it was, missed the entire lesson-late!

I just couldn't believe my luck.

Not only had I wasted a good meal's worth of expenditure, I had wasted 21 dollars of my own allowance on a bike lesson which was at 10.30am and not 12.45pm.

And as I walked out of the school with my head slung low in manic depression (and embarrassment), I was asking myself if God was REALLY telling me -after countless prompts from just about everyone else that bike riding is potentially fatal- that bike riding is not my thing and that it's not for me.

I.e. He doesn't want me to get hurt because I have many things left to do on this Earth.

Or perhaps my bike riding skills really suck. But then again, it can't be that because I feel pretty decent on the bike. And yet I see other learning riders who have managed to progress to the next stage of practice continuously struggle with their handling of the machine.

Sometimes people say life isn't fair..I just choose to think sometimes it's God's will. If He wants it, he'll ALLOW you to have it. If He says no then well, expect to bang your head against a wall irregardless of how hard you try.

It actually feels pretty stupid to carry on doing something which you know only results in nothing but you keep trying anyway because your mentality tells you to press on in search of success (never giving up) or perhaps your friends are constantly urging you on. Or maybe it's because being young and naive, you just don't see things the way you'd like to see.

As such, I think I'm going to quit my bike lessons. It's draining a fudging hole in my pocket and I might as well spend my money on better things (such as my Zaitoichi Katana!).

Well God, I've given up one thing...I can only pray..and just PRRRAAY in front of all the readers here that You help me and guide me along the way as I prepare myself for this Friday's test. Help me not to do anything stupid and to keep idiotic motorists out of my way.

So people, do you support my decision? I could always re-learn it when I come out from the army..Let me know what you think

2006-06-08T13:37:00.000+08:00

Have I told ANYONE how APPALLING I think Singapore Idol is?!?!?

There I was watching the supposed PIANO SHOW last night and what my eyes received was a good waste of precious air time.

Perhaps I've got my concept of a PIANO SHOW wrong but can someone tell me how songs like 'Don't Speak' and 'I Will Survive' made their way through??

'Don't Speak' happens to be a song from the Alternative music genre and as for my beloved song, 'I Will Survive', it's a piece from the disco era! Is Gloria Gaynor still alive by the way?

As they say, "EVERYBODY'S A CRITIC." (or at least some try)

Well, I...am not. For the very fact that critics 1)often try to hard and are unoriginal and 2)critics have a reeeally weird sense of humour. Believe me on that one.

I'm just an opinionated person who believes that if anything's a waste of time, it deserves to be 3)bitched about and 4)given a fair thrashing.

Back to Singapore Idol. This season's batch places no better than the previous batch. In fact, it's a WHOLE lot worse; not in terms of potential or talent (it's always been atrocious), but simply in terms of stature, humility and the poise of the contestants.

As I said, if you want to have a personality or a character of your own or even an image you want to create for yourself, by all means please do. Just make sure you do a good job at it, make it BEARABLE and to the public eye. Not with the mentality that it's 'your own style' in your desperately small, tiny, narrow, little world.

I say this with regards to one contestant known as Rahimah Rahim. I don't care if I've gotten her name spelt correctly, but I don't really give a sh*t.

EEYERR! (That's my Dick Lee impersonation and what I think of her singing)

One thing these girls have in common is that they sing in a morbidly low pitch? I don't know if they aspire to sing like Aretha Franklin, Fantasia Barrino or even Tina Turner but bijove Carrie Underwoods and Gospel Singers they ARE NOT.

It's a pity their singing turns out gutteral.

If anyone agrees with the post I have just made, please feel free to post a tag!

2006-06-06T14:55:00.000+08:00

So We all know what day it is and the implications it holds. But what are we really thinking about when we hear about this date? Are we cowering in our fears and reservations? Or as Jeffrey has already prompted us; to put on and equip yourself with the armour of God and to brace yourself for what's to come?

If you're just a bit more cautious on a Friday the 13th, wouldn't fly on 9/11 or could never live in a house numbered 666, you are not alone.

Authorities in some cities are worrying prophecy theorists or hate groups might read something ominous into the date and use it as an excuse to stir tension. Some expectant mothers are making birthing appointments to ensure they avoid the date, according to the Sunday Times in London. Whereas a small handful of others have remained strangely nonchalent and casual about the ominous event.

Speaking about omens..I took the privilege to catch the talked-about doomsday flick of the same title just this morning at midnight to be honest. And as curious as I was, I began streaming 'what-if' scenarios.

WHAT IF..06/06/06 would be the start of a series of calamities? WHAT IF..06/06/06 would be the day the Anti-Christ would be revealed? WHAT IF..06/06/06 would let spark the final World War by some funky haired dictator by the name of Kim Jong Il, armed with enough nuclear missiles to give light to one third of space.

As Methodists, we take a relatively conservative stand towards the preaching of the Gospels. One book of holy scripture in particular - The book of Revelations - stands out as the one book whose message is not as readily dispensible as the others by ordained pastors. For those of you who choose NOT to read this book because of fear or other ridiculous reasons such as personal disbelief, take this piece of advice..You SHOULD.

Interestingly enough, here's a small piece of what it says.

"He also forced everyone, small and great, rich and poor, free and slave, to receive a mark on his right hand or on his forehead, so that no one could buy or sell unless he had the mark, which is the name of the beast or the number of his name. This calls for wisdom. If anyone has insight, let him calculate the number of the beast, for it is man's number. His number is 666."

Among many coincidences that occur with numbers, life itself is based partly on these three: Carbon atoms, key to life as we know it, have six protons, six neutrons, and six electrons in their most common form.
That there is concern over the date at all is a reflection of how popular it's become to search for the hidden meanings in numbers, experts say.

While some Armageddon believers fear that 6/6/06 will be “a day of satanic power” that may be marked by a comet hitting the Earth, others believe that the world is coming closer to what is widely known as “the rapture” — the moment the Lord calls the Christian faithful home and millions of born-again evangelicals will suddenly disappear from the Earth, leaving non-believers behind.

But I'm not here to create chaos nor am I here to scare anyone. The reality of things is, as Christians, we are empowered by God, to stay strong and firm in His faith. To proclaim His truth. As youths of the church, we shouldn't be afraid. Lest we forget who the Greater power is.

By contrast, another website claimed that the Antichrist had already arrived — he is supposedly George (six letters) Walker (six letters) Bush Jr (six letters), the president whose name adds up to 666. “The violence and destruction that began when Bush first entered office is now certain to culminate in the apocalypse, as predicted in the Bible over 2,000 years ago,” warned Stephen Hanchett at www.isbushantichrist.blogspot.com. (So is Bush really Public Enemy #1?)

Either way, John Moore, the Irish director of The Omen remake — entitled Omen 666 — realised that June 6 was too good a date to miss for a film about a sinister child named Damien who turns out to be the Antichrist. “It’s a fantastic marketing gimmick,” Moore said. “We figured if we could hit this date it would make it all the more interesting.”

So here we have it, straight from the horse's mouth. What we see in the movie, is nothing but false man-made hoodoo and perhaps another form of spiritual warfare which we do not see but should prepare for.

Who's interested in the Da Vinci Code now? With unforseen events looming, it doesn't matter if fear is brought upon by a marketing gimmick. What I want to share and remind us of is that we have a Mission. In fact this mission has a proper name. And it is known as the Great Com-Mission. To spread the word of God to all the ears that have not heard and to all the captives that have not been set free.

We should not fear, dear friends, because each day that we live is a new mercy that God brings onto us. For "the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning. Great is They Faithfulness O Lord, great is They Faithfulness. "
Let us unite and praise and call upon his name while casting out all doubts that we have of God and of Christianity.

This was a message brought to you by:
Sherwin.

2006-05-30T14:45:00.000+08:00

This one's for you Nat :)

Seriously, I wish I had more issues to insult but for some strange reason, I'm on procrastination mode!

FWAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

2006-05-24T17:10:00.000+08:00

So I got bored, and took a couple of quizes myself to see what I would've been the Oxford Dictionary of English. Ok..well maybe not the Oxford Dictionary but at least it's all in good fun.

But hey, different permutations of my name seemed to yield rather differed but interesting results!

Here's the first. So I entered, 'Sherwin Chia', my default name and hey presto..This was what I got.

Sherwin Chia --
[adjective]:

Visually addictive

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

I know I am!
So then I decided to be a little less formal and a bit more casual by entering, 'Sherwin'. So this was what I got.

Sherwin --
[noun]:

A person with a sixth sense for detecting the presence of goblins

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Right...and then JUST for fun, I did it again..'Sherwin.'

Sherwin --
[adjective]:

A Master at Storytelling

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Oooh..I liked that one.
And then I got lazier, and just put, 'sherwin'.

Sherwin --
[adjective]:

Like in nature as a banana peel

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

So AM I now...Must explain my blogskin!

Just for kicks, I had to this..You know how when you fill up forms such as those when you register for your IC? That'ssss right. I used my 'Name as in NRIC' baby. The result?

Chia Wei Shoong Sherwin --
[noun]:

A hermit living in the big city

'How" will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

You can't beat this..

2006-05-16T22:24:00.000+08:00

So I was watching Dave Chappelle and his stand up and I could never agree (and laugh better) at these comments which he had to make which, till this day, will forever stand as my favourite quotes.

"Come on now, you go to a woman's house, her house'd be comfortable as SHIT.
They LOVE comfortable surroundings, so they can GET comfortable in their surroundings.
Cuz let me tell you something..If a man can have sex with a woman in a cardboard box, he wouldn't buy a house!"

"But that's still not where chivalry got killed.
Chivalry got killed..by those feminist movements in the womens' magazines that got women going crazy because women got too much advice ABOUT men..from other women.
-Chappelle shrugs-...because they don't know what they hell they're talkin about."

"You see..the test of women...is Mah-tee-re-uhl.
The test of men...is women.
and when I say 'test', i mean DEE-SIRE"

-Dave Chappelle.

He's a Genius.

2006-05-13T23:28:00.000+08:00

Ok..remember how I said I was gonna show the entire world how bad my burn was? Well, so maybe not the whole world. But here goes anyway.

Warning: The following pictures are highly graphic nature. Please do not attempt to view them if you have 1) A weak stomach or 2) A tendency to pass out.

(For the benefit of those with queasy stomachs, I've taken the liberty to give you the option of viewing the photos on a different page. It is your discretion.)

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y87/sherwin3/Thecover-up.jpg

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y87/sherwin3/Theunravelling.jpg

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y87/sherwin3/Theburn.jpg

Simply NASTY.

2006-05-12T14:29:00.000+08:00

Just in case many of you have wondered just WHAT exactly I've been doing this holiday or the kind of job I have right now, check out this link and see what I do ;)

FUNKYGRAD!

(Before reading it, take note of who wrote it first! -ahem.ahem-)

2006-05-11T16:28:00.000+08:00

Well, the recent turn of events havn't done anything particularly marvellous for me but for one thing, I definitely know that that 50-cent coin sized burn mark I got from placing my leg on the bike's exhaust pipe during the lesson yesterday morning sure hurts like hell.

It was quite something to be able to dangle a whole entire piece of your own skin in front of your own eyes. It would be funny to go up to my friends and say, 'Hey Ma..look! Pancakes!'

I don't think a photo would be nice but I might just save that for my next entry ;)

Anyway, it just stumbled upon me that now, with recent innovations in apparel and body temperature-regulating technology, living in comfort has never been easier.

In fact, who needs 'toe socks'? Who needs 'Climacool'? I've got my very own patented technology which took me a good ONE YEAR to develop and I've called it, FOOTLOOSE.

Thank you, Adidas.

2006-05-06T16:06:00.000+08:00

Well, in light of ALL the big fusses, the drama, the melo-drama, the scandals, the controversy, the hoo-hah and the ai-yah... the elections, the electorial debates, the rallies and the voting has finally ALMOST come to an end!

Sh**!..that sure was a mouthful!

As for me, I've decidedly decided to remain strictly non-partisan about the government or whichever party gets the vote/ wins the seats and earns totalism over the governance and policies of this country.

Ironically enough, I can only say I'm fine as long as the SDA doesn't come within a mile of touching that position (which I'm sure... they won't ;)) Because the moment that happens, (in a Singaporean context) we all Sure Die Already, lah!

As for the remaining three parties, they don't exactly have a clean slate to their records either.

The PAP (Propaganda Always Pays) has done a good job thus far to ingrain the success (and shortcomings) of the Lee Foundation and because of that, I salute them and perhaps, they will continue to win elections and stay on, helping the nation move forward.

The WP (Wandering Promenade) has received the biggest dent in it's reputation since James Gomez became the highlight of the media, as well as public outcry for his little stunt.
We alllllll know what he did ;)

As for the SDP (Simply for Display Purposes), let's just wish them words of encouragement to work harder and perhaps, make a significant impact the next election.

Should they pull a rabbit out of their hats, they better make sure it'll be able to keep its mouth shut. Having another Chee Soon Juan certainly wouldn't make life for them a walk in the park or a ride on the carousel!

2006-04-28T02:47:00.000+08:00

YAHOOOOOOO!!!

2006-04-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

So I've decided NOT to come up with an entry about the different kinds of shit that people pass out. However, I HAVE decided to give my two cents worth on a very special group of students.

These students spend a good quarter of their lives studying in the States before coming here and choosing to enrol into what we Singaporeans know as...International Schools.
Schools like UWC (SEA), ISS, CIS, SAS and the like.

And did I mention most of the time, they're probably very lucky to come from rich families?
Either way...because the Greenback will always be stronger than the Singapore dollar.

Now, indisputedly, this is the conclusion that I have gathered from my 5 years of observation. Whether you believe it or not, I HAVE spent the last five damned years going out with international students (some of whom are my friends) and actually hypothesizing if there was a correlation between foreign students, and the willingness/ability to take a bus or hop onto a train.

And the conclusion, is this- That international students, PARTICULARLY those from the SAS, aren't at all, in any way, locally public transport saavy. Meaning? They're pretty dumb when it comes to finding their way around the country by bus or train; especially within the heartland areas.

Now, because no official statistics are available, this would make my observation a non-normative statement. Which would mean that 1) It is purely opinionized, 2) It's baseless and 3) It may or may not be accurate to some.

However, I do want to stand behind the fact that a hypothesis, IS a hypothesis. In essence, this observation which I have just put forward, may be tested in order to determine its weight and worth. Can it hold it's water? I am probably very sure about that. (Ironic, isn't it?).

Now, as I have mentioned, this obscure and unusual phenomenon isn't new. In fact, just about every SAS student I know has loathed sitting in a bus just to get from Woodlands MRT station, to the school. OR they have shirked off any idea of taking a train from Bishan, to Orchard Road. Either, you get the idea that some of them are just plain stupid and are very poor at navigation around an island that is only 21kilometres long and 44kilometres wide.

I have therefore decided to christen this baffling behaviour, 'International Students' Syndrome'.

Take a look the next time you go out with a friend from one of these places and be sure to ask them, "Hey, did you get here by cab?"
Not only would you be surprised by what you'd find, you'd also soon notice that most of them simply have no clue about the public transport system here, despite the fact that a good handful of them have lived here long enough to know what friggin Char Kway Teow is.

I'll tell you what. Think about it. If I had a dollar for everytime someone has replied me with an answer to the question I have just posed above, in the positive, I'd be rich beyond my wildest dreams.
But of course, that would just be a very crude estimation.

Before I conclude, this message goes out to Chatsworth International students and SOME UWC ones-

Be proud of yourselves because you have not made yourselves idiots by learning how to get around on long, four-wheeled vehicles that provide a mode of getting around for 1.5million people known as, 'COMMUTERS'.

2006-04-22T22:12:00.000+08:00

I've discovered the joy of life which is found in its simplicity.

Friends are all around you; but who are the closest?

I thank you En, for the time we shared. Dinner was great, but I don't know if you liked it! :D

Hanging out was cool today Yokes..I've yet to thank you for recommending the Reefs! Boy, are they so comfortable.

In my life, what matters are my Religion and the God I believe in; my family who have kept me off the streets and gave me a use for my brain; my friends- to those I always share my opinions with; books- of which I can never get enough; and tobacco..be it my cigars or that for my pipe.

It's been a week or more since I've blogged. I've been thinking of making an entry on the topic of shit, but I've never known how it'd turn out.

I guess we'll just have to wait and see :)

In the meantime, more Indonesian for me.

2006-04-14T21:51:00.000+08:00

BY POPULAR DEMAND!!

Sherwin Chia’s
THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN ORCHARD ROAD.

Not even Mitch Albom is safe from my blog...

How many of you have read the book, 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven'? Pretty interesting wasn't it? But I've decided to take it a step further. I've decided to make it a step MORE REALISTIC. Thus I bring you, the 5 people (idiots) you are likely to meet in town.

Person #1: The Busker.

Many of you may walk down the underpass linking Orchard MRT station to Tangs and pass by our favourite and famous local blind busker- Leo.

Armed with his trusty keyboard, digital MIDI sound files and amplifier, Leo tugs at the heartstrings (as well as his own guitar strings) of many commuters each day as they make their journey to work or to home; earning a hefty sum each day he performs.

As you've noticed, I'm neither blind nor musically inclined but surely you must have noticed OTHER buskers within the vacinity such as the dude who dresses up as Carlos Santana parked at the underpass linking Wheelock place and Lido, strapped with his electric guitar in hand?

Person #2: The 'Needy Childrens' Association' Gift Pack Salesperson

EASILY one of the MOST annoying and irritating bastards around, these guys are amongst the most obvious to spot from a mile away. Some may dress extremely formally (which makes them stick out like a sore thumb), but the more common ones tend to hold a folder with many clear pockets documenting their 'identification' and the 'organisation' they are 'collecting donations' for (as such in the above picture).

(See what I mean? Do you feel like walking away? Hold on! Hold on! Wait! I need your moneyyyy!)

Often beginning their sales monologue- NOTE, M-O-N-O-L-O-G-U-E- with, "Hi Sir/Ma'am!", the chances of these sods landing a sale with me are close to ZERO. More often than not, their MONOLOGUE can be divided into three stages whereby if they're lucky, they manage to exchange a few lines with their targets before getting rejected.

Here are the 3 scenarios:

"Hi Sir/Ma'am!" (Person being targeted raises hand and says No and continues to walk away)
"Hi Sir/Ma'am! (Person stops to see what crap their about to listen to) "Hi..I'm from the Rainbow of Hope organisation.." (At this point, the person realises the catch and says, "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush." and walks away.
"Hi Sir/Ma'am! Ok, I'm not here to sell anything to you but I hope I can get your attention for just FIVE minutes. FIVVEEEE. I'm here representing the Rainbow of Hope organisation...five minutes later...and as you know, these kids are VERY under-privileged so if you could be so kind as to donate JUST TEN dollars (for me to keep in my pocket)...Person realises the catch and two things happen- It's too late and the sucker is forced into making the payment or he does what I do- make a really sad face and say, "I'm sorryyyy, but I don't have the cash with me right now as I'm JUST a student." and WALK AWAY!

Person #3: The 'Surveyor'

An even more cunning version of the Gift Pack Salesperson, the 'Surveyor' used to be the only people I could trust on the streets before I found out they were bloody TELEMARKETERS in disguise...

Starting out similarly as their less-successful counterparts with the customary "Hi Sir/Ma'am!", these buggers deceptively follow up by asking a seemingly innocent-enough question- "Would you mind taking part in a short survey for me?"

Having done surveys before, it was only natural for me to empathise with them just to make their lives easier and since it was a "SHORT" survey, I figured I would have the time to help them out. Only to be duped into a scam to obtain my telephone number and personal contacts in a bid to bombard me with various insurance sales policies, promotions and SCHEMES through the wire.

I've learnt my lesson man...Always say 'NO.' to people dressed in ties, polo-tees, polished black leather shoes and armed with notepads and folders.

Person #4: The Student Flag-day Donations Collector.

Not that they want to, but these poor students HAVE the potential to grow up into the turds I just mentioned.

Not that they want to, but they're forced into asking you for your kind donations for organisations that are in need of funding or for the likes of the less-fortunate. In my opinion, these are the ONLY people, apart from homeless old folks and the staff at Kinokuniya, in Orchard Road that you can trust.

Mind you, it takes a shit load of guts to go up to strangers and ask them for money. However, I do have to point out the shortcomings of these students. The one thing they DO NOT understand is that sometimes when we really have no money in our pockets, we really have no money in our pockets; So don't smile at us asking for our money and the next thing we know, we find out that you're cursing and swearing behind our backs, calling us "Assholes" or "Cheap Bastards" just because we don't have change to slot into those tin cans in your sad little hands.

Person #5: The Vacation Tourist a.k.a The Victims

Sure, we dress cool and look good but hey, don't ever assume that we pack huge loads of cash neatly tucked away in the corner of our undies because we don't. As tourists, we've always learnt and lived by the way of, "Never carry around cash in excess with you wherever you go"

In other words, we're the LAST people on earth you want to look to for cash, because we simply don't like being walking bank safe deposit boxes.

2006-04-11T23:47:00.000+08:00

Well, it's been an AWEFULLY long time since I last made an entry but I do have to say it wasn't entirely my fault.

For the past two weeks, I had been waiting for my sister to reformat the computer and in that time, I was not able to access any internet connections of any sort; thus making me unavailable to continue tickling you guys with 1)New crazy antics I decided to perform 2)My unorthodox views on life.

So with the final words, I OFFICIALLY resume this blog and all respective blogging activities that are related WITH IMMEDIATE EFFECT!

2006-03-26T01:25:00.000+08:00

So I come back home after sending my girlfriend back at 12am in the morning, and goodness, hell..what do I find lying on the dining table?? THIS! A book sent from the local Navy!

This is freakin freaky! I don't know how they did or when, but gooooodness, it looks like I've authored my own book! Haw haw, I can't WAIT to show this to all my friends in church.
It even has, 'A TRUE STORY' written on it!
And here's the oh-so-captivating sypnosis written on the rear of the paperback...

"CHIA WEI SHOONG SHERWIN

is a young Singaporean who

embarked on an extraordinary life in 2006.

Opening in the author's home at

73 TELOK BLANGAH HTS

#02-309

SINGAPORE 100073

this book serves as an autobiography

of the writer's experiences as a

Naval Combat Systems Specialist.

Operating and controlling state-of-the-art combat systems.

Duties that take the writer around the world.

It's a life FULL of excitement, challenges,

and discoveries. A MUST-READ for those

who aspire to live life...To the Fullest."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I...am..laughing my...big fat ass off!!

Reading that left me with things in mind.

Has the army got clairvoyants now? Gee..only March 2006 and they can SEEE into the future already!
I was like, "Holy Sh*t! How the f*** did they get my address on the book?? It's actually quite simple really.
Looking closely at the photo, after having Nat tell me this, it donned upon me that the officer on the LEFT not only has a stark resemblance to ME..he's got MY EYES! Look closely!
And after that, I was thinking, now everyone reading this blog knows where I live.
My mom went, "What is that ah? I saw that and I saw the address and I was wondering...what the SHIT is that?"
As exciting or challenging or appealling any sector of the armed forces may seem, we ALL KNOW that the neither the army, navy or government pay well. And that the ONLY way one could ever fall for such a ploy was if you resembled and fitted every single characteristic of the idiot displayed below,

2006-03-23T01:26:00.000+08:00

And because of the LAST entry, I took into my own to hands once again to create chaos by running amok and creating mischief with lipstick and eyeliner in hand.

So Val, look at it this way, your now infamous picture, has spawned a legend.

So there he was, my poor, poor brother who's name I shall not disclose because he is still a minor, sleeping soundly (but ironically with much sound) and unaware of the impending fate that awaited him.

In other words, I kinda got itchy after thinking about the picture and seeing my brother asleep and unconscious didn't really help.

So without further adieu, here he is.

(It looks as if I've photoshopped the colour onto his nose but goodness no. It's the work of Mom's old lipstick..)

2006-03-22T01:40:00.000+08:00

VAL, You're gonna KILL me for this but I DON'T CARE!! Hahahahaha! You've been

P-OWNED!!!

I don't know where this was taken but I'm sure glad I found it.

Well, it's been TWO WEEKS and not counting since I've last made a blog entry but frankly my dears, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN. I've been working, I've been shitting, I've been pissed off and frustrated but that doesn't change the fact that I blog when I like, and I don't give a shit as to when I do it, and when I really do it.

2006-03-08T22:50:00.000+08:00

Rotting bananas? Uhhhhh..what was the first thought that came to your mind when you saw this picture that I took? (of course, they were thrown away and NOT eaten ok)

The first thing that struck my mind was this question that I want to pose to every one of you guys-

"Chinese that's rotting? Or Afro-American with Chlamydia?"

The answer? Afro-American with Chlamydia of course! We alllllll know Chinese guys don't come in 8-inch sizes sad to say. :D

2006-03-05T22:11:00.000+08:00

Epicureal Experiences in Little India:

It has been long since the last time I had actually stepped into the ethnic community melting pot located in the ever-bustling Serangoon Road. In fact, it had been 8 years since the first time I came across gloriously rich Basmati Rice being served with an aromatic array of curries attractively served and presented on a simple yet stunningly simple banana leaf.

It had also been the first time in 8 years since I had come across parakeets that could predict your fortune, as well as Indian jewellers who could speak more dialects than I could count with my ten fingers (or to be POLITICALLY CORRECT, my EIGHT fingers and TWO thumbs).

But Today had changed everything; Today had done it all. And appropriately, it began at lunch. I was not at all familiar with the cuisine that was offered nor was I sure of which eateries were good but hey, I was in a group and they had already made the decision. The best thing that I could've done was to simply trust their words, go along with the flow and as the old adage goes- When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

In my dictionarious translation, that would have equated to- "Just sit down, shut up and eat. If it's good, enjoy it, say thank you, and then shut up and eat again."

That very restaurant, which BLEW me away, that very restaurant that made me a believer, was known as (the) Gurkha Palace. Authentic Nepalese food at its best. The curries were TO DIE FOR and I have always had alot of respect for the culture of the Nepalese people and the environments in which they grew up in.

Each time I sit down and recollect about the people of Nepal, I am reminded about the legendary stories I've heard about the Gurkhas and their revered blades, the training they go through; the Sherpas, acting as your guides in the mountains.

Indeed, it was truly a sumptuous and tantilizing meal that left me in high Heaven. What happened thereafter was the journey through a miriad of colours, sights, smells and flavours through the alleys of the Indian heritage.

It struck me to get entirely lost within the walls of the estate and it was instinct leading me on from there. No planned routes, no maps, no asking for directions- It was anything-goes.

And there I was, taking my time to simply walk and explore a culture I had never been exposed so greatly too since I was a child and what pleasures I derived from aimless wandering stemmed from one simple objective that pounded at the back of my head like a child throwing his tantrum- waiting to be satisfied and let free. That objective? The one-time experience of chewing a Betel Nut. That's right, ONE betel nut.

I had learned about this little habit of chewing betel nuts 8 years back and had always wanted to give it a try but I just never got to doing it simply because I never had the chance to go out looking for it. In case you have no idea WHAT a betel nut is, it is a nut that is either slivered or grated, often flavoured with spices according to local tradition, and usually wrapped in a betel leaf and is chewed until its fibrous residue is the only thing that remains in your mouth before its characteristic, bright red dye is spat out leaving sputum that resembles blood (Isn't that so damn cool?)

In India, betel (called paan or pan) chewing is very popular. Paan is often served wrapped in a betel leaf, as described above. A ground mixture of betel nuts and other spices, is made into a concoction of flavours.

Here's how the betels are prepared:

And from there, the leaves are wrapped up into a bundle, and the entire package is popped into your mouth before a bunch of flavours explode in your mouth.

The Betel Nut I had, was topped with a clove. I always hated cloves, but stupidly enough, I did not have the slightest idea that it WAS a clove, simply because I didn't see it 'plopped' onto the centre of the leaf. Cloves were always disgustingly strong and overpowering and this was how the chew tasted:

1) When I made the first bite,it was crunchy and watery

2) not before long, I tasted coconuts and its juice began oozing

3)The first spit was characteristic enough- red and granular

4)It was sweet and extremely spicey (thanks to Mr. Clove)

5) It was like having incense in your mouth after 5 minutes of chewing.

The flavours were all right, and my first initial thought upon the explosion of flavours was, "WHOA.", but I wasn't particularly comfortable with the fact that my tongue went numb..I am serious when I say this, my tongue, went numb. To be specific, it felt like a dentist had inject the anaesthetic intended for my teeth into my tongue.

I probably looked kinda dumb with my tongue hanging out and wagging like a dog but nonetheless, I proceeded to finish up the chew-spit experience before I was walking around feeling as if I had a joss stick in my mouth, releasing its incense unto my palate.

2006-03-02T12:50:00.000+08:00

12 Countries visited, 180 more to go!

create your own visited countries map
or vertaling Duits Nederlands

2006-03-01T23:58:00.000+08:00

Right then! So it's come down to this. I've made a really neat decision, that come the 1st of April- which is april fools' day- that I'd officially be known as either of these three names- Sherwin, Seth and Shuko; and NO, this is NOT and advanced april fools' joke, nor would it be come the day itself.
There is a reason though. For practicality and also for style. I think Seth's nice name. And Shuko? Don't you think that sounds kinda warm and would fit my facial features?

I still like Sherwin though. But as I said, practicality comes first. It kinda sucks because I ALWAYS have to repeat my name at least 4 times before actually spelling it out in front of people at meetings, only to have idiots forget your name the next time they see you.

So what would you like to call me boys and girls? Have a choice and take your pick, call me whatever you'd like and feel free to do so because I'm all for a change of name.

Sherwin
Seth
Shuko

( I'd just like to add that I'll officially get my second name added once I'm 21 and that my family members don't know me and will never do.)

2006-02-24T01:10:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: The stunt you are about to see was carried out by a highly trained professional and should NOT be attempted at home.

And hello again! It's Sherwin here being the most crazy, blinking idiot I can ever be. Now, this latest entry goes out as a warning to all cigarette smokers- if you can't bear to see an entire bunch of cigarettes being put to waste, please turn back now. This is NOT for the faint of heart (and lungs).

Before I continue, how much do we actually know and understand about cigarettes? Did you know that the average cigarette contains 13-15mg or tar and a fraction's worth of nicotine?

And for the purpose of the 'experiment', I took the liberty to photodocument the "stupidest of stupid" exploits, so here we go amigos.

REQUIRED ITEMS!

A REALLY big mouth. Read on and you'll understand why.

Any particular brand of cigarette you'd prefer. For the purposes of this stunt, I decided to use good old Gudang Garam cigarettes because of their reknown sweetness. It had to be noted that two kinds of cigarettes are available in the market- 1) The conventional tobacco cigarette and 2) The Indonesian clove cigarettes also known as 'Kretek's which are highly reknown for their sweetness, body, as well a shit-stinking smoke.

Another thing that must be noted are the apparent and more pronounced health risks associated with the kreteks. Reports have supposedly shown a much higher level of tar content, as well as significantly increased risks of lung damage brought about by the obvious action of smoke inhalation. (Normally the onset of morbidity brought on by smoking is a gradual consequence, but I think what I was up to may have just accelerated these effects upon me 100 fold.)

A lighter with a BIIIIGGGGG flame. Enough said.

And of course, a SHITLOAD of cigarettes. All 18 sticks of Gudang Garams..Man, what the hell was I thinking when I thought of this..

The Result? Check out the vidlink and you'll find out.

The result of this entire stunt was 1) Toxic smoke inhalation on my part 2) I wasn't inhaling the smoke FROM the cigarettes, I was inhaling the smoke that was coming OUT from the cigarettes!

And how was it possible that I broke a sweat doing this?

Leave a Tag, people! Xie Xie!

2006-02-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

You are a GRAMMAR GOD!

Congratulations! If your mission in life

is not already to preserve the English

tongue, it should be. You can smell a

grammatical inaccuracy from fifty yards.

Your speech is revered by the underlings,

though some may blaspheme and call you a

snob. They're just jealous. Go out there

and change the world.

How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla

OMG! Thanks to SFee for this because she was just too bored. :)

2006-02-19T22:31:00.000+08:00

Arena

(known to self and others)

cheerful

Blind Spot

(known only to others)

confident, friendly, kind, knowledgable

Façade

(known only to self)

bold, energetic, intelligent, observant, reflective

Unknown

(known to nobody)

able, accepting, adaptable, brave, calm, caring, clever, complex, dependable, dignified, extroverted, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, introverted, logical, loving, mature, modest, nervous, organised, patient, powerful, proud, quiet, relaxed, religious, responsive, searching, self-assertive, self-conscious, sensible, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, sympathetic, tense, trustworthy, warm, wise, witty

Dominant Traits

100% of people agree that Sherwinsherwin! is cheerful
100% of people think that Sherwinsherwin! is confident
100% of people think that Sherwinsherwin! is friendly
100% of people think that Sherwinsherwin! is kind
100% of people think that Sherwinsherwin! is knowledgable

All Percentages

able (0%) accepting (0%) adaptable (0%) bold (0%) brave (0%) calm (0%) caring (0%) cheerful (100%) clever (0%) complex (0%) confident (100%) dependable (0%) dignified (0%) energetic (0%) extroverted (0%) friendly (100%) giving (0%) happy (0%) helpful (0%) idealistic (0%) independent (0%) ingenious (0%) intelligent (0%) introverted (0%) kind (100%) knowledgable (100%) logical (0%) loving (0%) mature (0%) modest (0%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (0%) patient (0%) powerful (0%) proud (0%) quiet (0%) reflective (0%) relaxed (0%) religious (0%) responsive (0%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (0%) sensible (0%) sentimental (0%) shy (0%) silly (0%) spontaneous (0%) sympathetic (0%) tense (0%) trustworthy (0%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (0%)

Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 19.2.2006, using data from 1 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view'>http://kevan.org/johari?view=Sherwinsherwin!">view Sherwinsherwin!'s full data.

Go check this out! It takes a while to understand properly how it works but do put in your two cents worth! Danke!

2006-02-18T00:49:00.000+08:00

BY POPULAR DEMAND!!

Sherwin Chia’s
THE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN ORCHARD ROAD.

Not even Mitch Albom is safe from my blog...

Person #1: The Busker.

Many of you may walk down the underpass linking Orchard MRT station to Tangs and pass by our favourite and famous local blind busker- Leo.

Person #2: The 'Needy Childrens' Association' Gift Pack Salesperson

(See what I mean? Do you feel like walking away? Hold on! Hold on! Wait! I need your moneyyyy!)

Here are the 3 scenarios:

"Hi Sir/Ma'am!" (Person being targeted raises hand and says No and continues to walk away)
"Hi Sir/Ma'am! (Person stops to see what crap their about to listen to) "Hi..I'm from the Rainbow of Hope organisation.." (At this point, the person realises the catch and says, "I'm sorry, I'm in a rush." and walks away.
"Hi Sir/Ma'am! Ok, I'm not here to sell anything to you but I hope I can get your attention for just FIVE minutes. FIVVEEEE. I'm here representing the Rainbow of Hope organisation...five minutes later...and as you know, these kids are VERY under-privileged so if you could be so kind as to donate JUST TEN dollars (for me to keep in my pocket)...Person realises the catch and two things happen- It's too late and the sucker is forced into making the payment or he does what I do- make a really sad face and say, "I'm sorryyyy, but I don't have the cash with me right now as I'm JUST a student." and WALK AWAY!

Person #3: The 'Surveyor'

An even more cunning version of the Gift Pack Salesperson, the 'Surveyor' used to be the only people I could trust on the streets before I found out they were bloody TELEMARKETERS in disguise...

I've learnt my lesson man...Always say 'NO.' to people dressed in ties, polo-tees, polished black leather shoes and armed with notepads and folders.

Person #4: The Student Flag-day Donations Collector.

Not that they want to, but these poor students HAVE the potential to grow up into the turds I just mentioned.

Person #5: The Vacation Tourist a.k.a The Victims

In other words, we're the LAST people on earth you want to look to for cash, because we simply don't like being walking bank safe deposit boxes.

2006-02-12T17:49:00.000+08:00

The Bible tells us the story of the Prodigal Son.

I re-lived that story on Tuesday when I ran away and left home in search of my own life.

I told myself I could and I knew I could but it wasn't going to be easy.

But I find myself back in the shelters of home after falling prey to a viral attack that's left me infected in the Sinus, the Pharynx and the Head.

2006-02-06T01:24:00.000+08:00

Taken from today's Sunday Times:

"It's nice to be pampered a little more. An 18-year-old can take you to a restaurant, but a 30-year-old earns 10 times more so he can give you gifts and bring you to places which are probably 10 times more expensive"

-The issue? 15/18/19-year-old girls dating 30 year old men.

Now, if you're a poly student and you're gonna give this kind of a self-centred and just plain pathetic excuse as to why you CAN'T (not don't) find joy in dating a young man your age, then I just feel absolutely disgusted by this fact.
We've heard it time and time again- The arguement of the 'typical' Singaporean woman who feels that she would date an expat over local men because local men are "not romantic enough" or "they whine too much" just because they don't try hard enough. Or in this case, girls dating older men just because they feel that they can get more out of their pockets than boys their age.

But I think this really doesn't work out. I believe that God gave us what we already have to be happy and we should appreciate what we have in life. Music, food to enjoy, friends and family to live with. Why in the world you say you prefer seeing old farts just because they give you rocks that sparkle when you hold them up to your eyes?

I think I'm making a pretty fair arguement here because I'm turning 20 at the end of the year and this puts me in the middle (though not exactly in the middle) of the age gap. I'm not complaining that I get turned down by local lasses just because they think I can't afford that but the brunt of the issue that I would like to point out is that in all honest aspect, women are just too focused on consumerism. And also, I'd like to state that this isn't directed at anyone, but if you feel that what I'm talking about rings a bell and tugs at a string, you'd have something to think about right there.

Take this quote from NUS sociologist, Paulin Straughan for instance.
"In my opinion, a girl in her late teens is too young to settle down permanently in a social relationship. She should allow herself to get to know her peers- THAT is part of the BEAUTY OF COURTSHIP", she said(not diamond rings and designer bags).

Footnote: Jeanie, you'd read this sooner or later I figure but I'm not targeting you yea? Hope there isn't any misunderstanding that would give you some weird,warped idea that I'm brooding in immature envy but it CAN get pretty frustrating sometimes to know that you're getting very lucky with job offers because you have so much time to go out with people like Antoni and Ed but bear this in mind, I'm still waiting for that confirmation from Edmund concerning the masseur position in CGH.
Which means, that I've made the first move in asking and networking but I'm still waiting in the dark while I read on about the life you're enjoying. ;)

2006-02-03T22:10:00.000+08:00

Sooooo many things to ramble on about, so little mood. I'M LAZY LAH!

Okokok, now that I've got the ball rolling, let me recap how the past two days at work and in my life have gone by.
Firstly, I think this would be the only avenue for me to vent my frustrations on the goings at my workplace and give you (my friends) clearer insight on my opinions on moral fiber and moral ethics.
To cut a long story short, I'm treated rather unfairly by a senior colleague whom I have lost quite a lot of respect for. He screws up my orders, I bear the brunt for it; He blatantly and SO rudely interrupts my answering of guest inquiries making the guests unhappy (and I bear the brunt for it); Tells me to clear the tables for him when NO ONE'S around his area but him and he's jolly-well able to clear it himself whereas I am at the back polishing glasses (after business hours); It's past my worktime, I've taken off my uniform and he conveniently comes in and asks me to get dressed once more just to clean the tables. And this is when I'm about to go home and prepare for school at 9am the next morning- He does this at 10.30pm.

Because of all this, I've clearly lost my cool and all my respect for him. So-much-so that I have to resort to calling him a bloody Indian Thambi. Now, if there are any Indian readers here who are already fuming, I sincerely apologise if I have offended anyone because I do not mean to address this to the major population, as this is a personal insult from me to the man I have just described.
Look, whether you are senior in rank or not, if one resorts to this kind of treatment and bears it upon a subordinate, it clearly speaks alot about the level of responsibility and even more starkly, the pathetic level of education that person has received or gone through.

Put it simply, "what the f-ck is wrong with you man?"

Moral Fiber/Ethics: The substance known as integrity believed in, possessed by and held by few pertaining to the ability to differentiate between what is Right, and what is Wrong.
I've mentioned time and time again, it takes quite a bit to piss me off and if this goes on any longer, I'm quitting the job. I've learnt quite enough to do something FOR myself and not take this kind of shit.

Let me say this, no one owes ANYONE a living. I don't owe this guy a living, my friends don't owe me a living, my parents don't owe me a living. People in the working world have always told me, "That's how it is in the working world"/ You've gotta eat humble pie and learn the hard way. Yea? Well I'll tell you what, I'm not standing up to this anymore, I've learnt what I had to learn, it's not something I'm going to be working as the rest of my life so I might as well move on and get on with it and with my life. If you want to say that this exists everywhere, then I'm sad to say that you are working for the wrong people. Anyone with a spine would say, "I'm not taking this shit anymore, I'm moving on."

And herein begins my quest for a better work environment where the culture is not marred by the presence of one asshole who JUST happens to find it convenient to abuse his authority on me. No one should be blaming me now for being a wimp in anyway because for one thing, wimps don't decide their own careers. If you wanna let yourself get shoved up the backside all your life, you can very well be my guest.

Now that I have cleared steam, I can safely go on to describe the latest Cigar added to my list which I've smoked recently- the Romeo y Julieta 2005 Edicion Limitada Petit Pyramides.

Some of you may be wondering, "Wasn't that the brand he was complaining so badly about?"
Indeed it was..but I made the misjudgement to condemn the whole basket just because of one rotten egg of a cigar.
Now, after seeking much consultation, I was seemingly convinced and interested to know what this RJ had to provide for me. Would it be a tasty smoke? Would it be spicy? Peppery or bold?
The answer was everything I thought of.

Romeo y Julieta 2005 Edicion Limitada Petit Pyramides:

Firstly, I would like to emphasize Edicion Limitada. Whenever one sees this on their cigar label, take note. Edicion Limitada refers to a line of Cigars which the respective cigar company has specially prepared only a fixed number to be distrubuted around the world. Most of the time, the number falls somewhere below 100,000.

So I guess I was pretty lucky to have this torpedo along with me and when I asked Lenny what this was like compared to the shitty RJ 2 which I had the past week, he said it was a completely different experience.

True enough, that was exactly what it was because on the first light and draw, its flavour seemed light and aromatic enough. Five minutes later, the Pyramides took on a different personality. This time, flavours of black coffee and oak began to settle in. As time went by, yet another distinct flavoured personality had come in, taking over its predecessor. The hint of coffee was still there, with it's semi-bitterness lingering on the palate. The only thing that struck was its pepperishness and boldness that had a slight drying effect on my throat.

What laid my eyes on this 4.5-incher was it's thickness and it's dark chocolately Dominican wrapper. Smooth and lightly veined, the aroma of almonds (this entire paragraph sounds very wrong, I apologise) and its robust shape nailed the coffin for me. Was the 28dollars I spent worth it smoking this torpedo? I'd say it was pretty average. 3 out 5 stars for satisfaction, 4.5 out of 5 for body and aesthetics.

Footnote: Torpedo refers to the class of Cigars known for its distinct shape that resembles a warhead, as well as for the amount of smoke that one is able to blow out with each draw.

2006-02-02T13:00:00.000+08:00

I find myself going to try out another Cigar- The Partagas No. 1

I'll let you guys know the outcome of that one.

2006-01-30T11:37:00.000+08:00

You know, just walking the streets alone by yourself and spending time talking to your inner child is enough to not only sprout some p-r-e-t-t-y unusual thoughts but also to sprawl what-ifs all over your mind's capacity.

So there I was, walking down from Takashimaya to Heeren and it hit me.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY SUPERPOWER IN THE WORLD, WHAT WOULD IT BE? (YOU CAN ONLY CHOOSE ONE)

And I gave it some thought before the inner child and I came to the conclusion that THE NUMBER ONE superpower I would wanna have would be the ability to fly like Superman. Ruling out all other possibilities that your wish would be granted by a Genie bent on f-ing up your wishes in some sick, twisted form, the power to fly at 209487479832 times the speed of light would WAY cool.

Then I wouldn't have to waste all that money on lousy drivers in slow buses anymore, or cab drivers who intentionally try to squeeze out that extra dollar from you by simply driving like s-h-i-t (I hate it when they do that, really.)

And as you know, your brain is a marvelous work of creation. It's not only capable of processing information at 40 times the speed of a computer ( I don't know about now though so please take these words with a pinch of salt), it's also clever enough to start prodding the various probabilities of OTHER combinations of what superpowers I wished I could have; instead of just having the power to fly. What a smart skanking bugger we have up in out heads. So then I coughed up a list of

APART FROM FLYING, WHAT OTHER SUPERPOWERS WOULD YOU HAVE IF YOU KNEW COULD HAVE THEM?

And thus, my brain, being unable to keep its itching self from producing the most unconventional of superconscious thought, proceeded to tell me that I'd like:

The ability to read minds and communicate telepathically - So hey, now I'm like Professor X!But it's way cool because I'd always be a step ahead of you, you'd never win in an arguement, and if I was doing business with you, I'd know what you'd want, and proceed to earn my money off you.
To have an indestructible adamantium-composite skeleton that allows me to walk around with daggers hanging out of my hands - I figured if I were to smoke cigars, I might as well add on right?
To shape shift - This would be the ultimate ownage tool OF ALL. I'd pretend to be Bush, kill Powell and get his stinking ass outta the whitehouse! Not to mention the indescribable and uncontainable mischief I could create!
Invisibility - This was one of the powers I knew eons before time would be thoroughly abused by me and therefore has made its way into my list of 'X-rated superpowers you wished you had Greatest Hits'. This is self-explanatory. However, because I am such a good boy, I would picture myself helping to defend the nation by going on reconnaissance and spy missions in an all-out bid to steal highly-coveted and top secret military documents and building plans LMAO.

Of course, having superhuman strength wouldn't do any harm.

2006-01-29T12:17:00.000+08:00

Did the Romeo y Julieta (Pron: Ro-mee-o yi Hu-li-eh-ta) No. 2, two nights ago after work. Here are my comments on this churchill.

Romeo y Julieta #2

It SUCKEEDDDD!!

However, my saving grace did come in the form of a mini Partagas which I specifically asked for when I requested one with a flavour and with a scented aroma. To be even more specific, how many of you have had a death stick (just my little moniker for it) that left your lips feeling like you've had the sweetest honey ever tasted? Not many I suppose!

This little bugger was just really tasty and a pleasure to sit through despite the fact that my only problems with it were its size and density. Size-wise, it could've been bigger, longer -not uncut- and basically you could've smoked it more. In terms of density, it could've been firmer and less 'squishy' whenever I gave it a squeeze but not too dense that it would have stank when it burned.

Is there such as word as this? STANK??

2006-01-24T19:35:00.000+08:00

Someone help me. Lol..It seems that Oaks has become a new hunting ground for me and everytime I think about it, my lips start to feel smacky and a yearning to have something in my mouth plays up.

I just had myself the Montecristo 5. today. It wasn't too bad for an afternoon Cuban but here's my thoughts on the little Havana which I felt was a really pleasant roll.

Montecristo 5.
Nice crisp mocha finish with scents of vanilla with a slight hint of cinnamon. Wrapping was firm and free from weavils and mould which was good.
Holding it made me feel comfortable and firm, knowing that the cigar wouldn't go anywhere or fall out of my hand.
Upon lighting, the aroma filled the air with the presence of a strong latte with a smooth, easy draw. Ash was very light but firm and dark grey in colour, finishing with a lovely, crisp and smooth cream-caramel flavour lingering along the lips and on the palate. The Montecristo starts off with very slight and mild heat, tingling the senses but it also carries with it 3 different attitudes that seem to grow bolder and get stronger as it gets shorter. This growth in attitude also brings with it a full body and a slight kick with each draw as the length of time progresses.
All in all, it's a great roll for even the most casual of aficionados and beginners yet it makes for a very pleasant experience for even the most seasoned of smokers any time of the day.

2006-01-18T22:49:00.000+08:00

It's funny how random thoughts about my life and my identity sprout out in my mind and make me question such issues as what my role in life is, how people react to my character and what I can do to be a better person to be more receptive to the people around me and to build better relationships with them.
Such random thoughts include:

Am I talking the right way, using the right tone of voice and an appealing accent that's not exaggerated?
Is it me or do people find me extremly blunt and suddenly hate me just because they find it difficult to accept how hard reality really hits them?
"My biggest fear in life, is not talking to someone. But not receiving a positive response from the person I am talking to."
Am I building the right chemistry with this person?

I'm sure I'm not the only person who questions their own experiences in life when it comes to social interaction. I think I do have to add that some people I know have totally no good social skills at all. The saddest part about people like them is that they don't, or are hesitant about learning to build up such skills.

Work today was pretty cool.

New haircut, check.
4 piece suit, check.
Cologne, check.
Charming looks (hahahaha :)), check check.

Well, before I start my afternoon at work, that's pretty much the routine I go through before delivering service to big..BIG-time businessmen (and women) at the Horizon Club.

I got to meet Dr. Chihap (sp?) today at the club lounge. A lady who virtually LIVES in the Shangri-la. Here's a business woman who works with a company that requires her to travel around the South-east Asian region and also provides her with an exclusive club membership. The catch behind this membership, or basically just a requirement that entitles her to retain this membership is that she has to stay in the Shangri-la for 60 days at THREE different locations. That's ONE-HUNDRED and EIGHTY (180) days in total! I'm just flabbergasted wondering if it's her that's doing the paying, or if it's the company. If she's the one who's forking out the cash, it's no wonder she's got a doctorate to command that kind of pay; then again, when you think about it, in order to provide that kind of salary, the company's got to be pretty spanking rich too doesn't it?

But money isn't everything to me. It was really nice getting to know her initially because how she got to know me was when she asked my seniors why I didn't have a nametag and how she couldn't identify me. But I just told her I was new, I had just started work and had yet to get a tag made (for the price of 6 dollars).

So it's off to another day tomorrow, we'll see how it goes!

2006-01-16T11:48:00.000+08:00

In Remembrance of Kelvin David

who left us in peace to seek Solace in the Lord.

(13/01/2005)

Kelvin on the left with Charlotte. He was 28 in this picture, evidently crashing the first months of the new academic year.

Kel was one of the friends I never had enough opportunity to go out with. And when I look back now, those 3 times when we did sit down and enjoy ourselves at Wala-wala had left a mark in me so deep, it can't be removed nor can they be changed now that he's left. Nothing can change that fact and nothing can bring back that smile that I distinctly remember.

It doesn't take anything for any self-respecting person to feel the loss. Some may say, "But you didn't know him well, how could you possibly be so emotive?"
And I'd reply them by saying this, "Where is the compassion that lies within that inner shell you call your soul?"

And as I entered the columbarium at the Garden of Remembrance, as I stepped into the chapel and into the wake, I had a sense of condolence which I yearnfully wanted to share. To those close to him, to his family dear to him, Kelvin's in a better place now. A place where there is no suffering, no pain, no tears.

He's grown a new body, free from the cancer that plagued him during the last few days of his life and he is growing strong. To his family, Charlotte, and all his close friends, be strong and don't mourn this loss because the Lord tells us to be strong in times of trial and tribulation.

It's funny to think of it now because it just seems like he's left a piece of himself in everyone who knew him- As a friend, a mentor, a guide, a teacher and to many, a brother.

As I got up from bed and found myself alone in the flat this morning, I paused to think if Heaven had a form of telegramming. Even though I didn't pause to contemplate the possibility of this, I assumed that anything was possible in Heaven; and I started saying, "Kel, I don't know if you get to receive voice messages up in Heaven but there's no harm trying so here goes..I have to say even though there were times we didn't get to explore much together, you would've been under the ranks of 'awesome friend' in my list. It's good to know that you're well now and many people are celebrating because you ARE in a better place. Well, I won't forget you that's for sure and I'll keep in touch. Sherwin."

And as I thought about it more, the bible verses I kept closest to heart and the ones that I truly remembered came to mind.

Phil 4:13- "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

Psalms 23- "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I shall fear no evil. For my Lord, you are with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me."

Proverbs 3:5,6- "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind. Lean not on your own understanding and He will make your paths straight."

I believed this verse would be reflected on by his family.

From James 1:2-

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, (verse 3) because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. (4) Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (5) If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all withou finding fault, and it will be given unto him. (6) But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind...(verse 12) Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love Him."

And from his blog, Kelvin posted his last words- dated November 19th 2005.

Living Hope

As the embodiment of the eternal life and the holding center of the universe, Christ is the only one who can be our real security. He alone is worthy of our hope. In him we find the only way to obtain the hope of stability for which we long, because in him we find eternal life with all of its power and transcendence. Christ with his divine, eternal life is not bound by time or space. His life is unlimited in its capacity; it is an indestructible and indissoluble life, and as such, it is not fleeting and not subject to man’s destructive acts.(3) Our only chance for obtaining real hope is found by our believing into Christ and receiving his eternal and indestructible life.This hope is a living hope and it hinges on the eternal life.(4) while we may view eternal life as something exalted and beyond the reach of mortal men, it is nonetheless obtainable. Eternal life is the divine, uncreated life of God. Such a lasting and real life has been made available to un in Christ and through what he has accomplished. As the Son of God, Jesus came to be life to man and to give man life in an abundant way.(5) in his work on the cross, Jesus Christ was crucified for our sins, shedding his blood to redeem us and reconcile us to God. Christ’s death, moreover, released his resurrection life. the power of his life could not be held by death. Instead if remaining in the grave, he arose, becoming the life giving spirit. (6) as such, he is now able to impart his eternal life into all those that believe into him.(7) his life is the resurrection life-the only life that is true and the only life that can withstand death and rises out of it victorious. Christ and his life are those things which death cannot conquer. They are the object of our hope.

Indestructible

“he who believes into the Son has eternal life.” by believing into Christ, we receive the life that is eternal and indestructible, and with this life we obtain a living hope. As the embodiment of the eternal life, Christ is the only one in whom we can truly hope. We can no longer hope in the things we find in this world, nor can we produce true hope out of our own strength or imagination. Hope is sure only when we place it in Jesus Christ. Unlike our own human life, his life is not fading but eternal. We find real and enduring hope when we believe into him and receive his life. then, and only then, will we know and possess the power of his indestructible life."

To your memory, my friend. Always remembered.

www.kelvindavid.blogspot.com

2006-01-09T20:17:00.000+08:00

In the News today:

1.New case of Bird Flu death occurs in Turkey.

Is it really that surprising that a country called Turkey gets stricken with bird flu? I'd think the name says everything.

NEXT!!

2.'Members of the public give feedback on the terrorism attack exercise organised by the Civil Defence.'

"Complaints were received from members of the public. One such member, student Lee Cheng Wei, 18, had this to say(in a stuporish dreary mumble), "I don't think it was necessary for them to hold such an exercise. It was such an inconvenience as I had to get things done."

It seems that 41 years of Independence and multiple reforms in the education system have done nothing, zilch, zero, noi, for this poor, young dumb chap. My young man, do you even understand what the purpose of the local body for the public's defence was? Apparently not.

Though I support the SCDF's efforts to simulate a fairly realistic enactment of an attack, I do not think it is highly likely that Singapore shall be the prey of turbanised, bearded men with explosives strapped to their chests in 30 years. Therefore, Mr. Lee Cheng Wei, you are safe from my verbal mockery.

Another woman had this to say,"I was supposed to get to church at 9am today. Now because of this event, it is already 9.30am and I am still not in church."

My dear lady, I am very sure, in every guaranteed context, that in the event of you getting caught in the crossfires of a terrorist attack or getting blown up and dying, God would graciously excuse you for not being able to attend church.

Last, but not least, a married woman and her three children (or maybe just one) had this to say, "I am soooo upset you know. How can they make a wife like me and my poor children walk unsheltered to cross the road? I was VERY upset when I wanted to use the underground pass but I couldn't and they told me I could not cross because they had sealed it off. I feel that they(the SCDF) should think and consider on a case-to-case basis! Hmmph!"

"Maaaaammmmmmyyyyyy!"

Lady, look, what you have just said on national radio only serves to prove but a f*cking idiotic and self-centred bitch you are. We understand that you're worried about your children getting sick should they get caught under the rain. But what? Are you going to deprive them of ever having the chance of playing in the rain or jumping into puddles? Surely, for the love of everything you're not going to be so protective of your beloved children? And for crying out loud, it's only A LITTLE RAIN! We understand it's been raining non-stop for the past two days but is getting your blouse wet and having men look at your under-wired undergarment worrying you?

Think, people! THINK! If you were caught in an ACTUAL (Note: actual=highly improbable) attack, you wouldn't even WANT to use that underground walkway you were so hard-up on using.

And for those of you who simply complained about WHY the SCDF just haaaad to hold the exercise at 6.38am on that day, would you just PLEASEEE grow-f*ing-up and realise that if there was an ACTUAL attack, you probably wouldn't know when it would be??

I mean, you seriously don't expect Mr. Al-Muhammed Mukhtar strapped with a bomb vest to come up to you and say, "Excuse me sir, but do you have a light?"

Goodness no! You wouldn't even know when such a thing could happen!

So, to the people of Singapore, wake your ideas up, pull your bloody fingers out of your arses, and pull up your frikkin' pants because it's time to stop being so self-centered!

2006-01-07T01:16:00.000+08:00

And today...I present to you....the result of my driving test. 11 months of culmination and it all boiled down to THIS.

As you can see, I went on in the process of the test to commit these several offences- Striking the curb (multiple times), striking down the poles (twice), requiring corrective maneuvers (multiple times), WHICH, ultimately, dashed all my hopes of aqquiring ONE pathetic little piece of plastic which would've saved me from the banes of public transport. But nooooo, I just had to fail it.

I didn't know why it happened, but it just had to take place in the parking courses. 260,000 attempts of practice and none of it helped. To make matters worse, I even collected an immediate failure when my tester had told me to move out of the lot. To be honest, I was stuck and couldn't move and I did what I thought was best- I listened to his instruction.
(If you look at the tiny circle with the tick inside, that's where you find it)

So in conclusion, another one bites the dust, my mom's $156 was thrown down the drain and I had to come up with another $156 for the re-test in two and a half months. Gosh I really hate this system..

2006-01-03T02:02:00.000+08:00

Your 2005 Song Is

Feel Good Inc by Gorillaz

"Love forever love is free.
Let's turn forever you and me."

In 2005, you were loving life and feeling no pain.

What Hit Song of 2005 Are You?

Courtesy of Val.

2006-01-03T01:13:00.000+08:00

A wise man once said,
"Look after you diet, and watch what you eat because you do not want others making a meal out of you."

For if you eat too much, you get laughed and made fun of.
If you eat too little, you get scorned and looked down upon because people will think you are bullimic.

Just who might this WISE MAN be? Well, if I said it was me, I'd be called a wiseCRACK instead. But I think it makes some sense.

I've gone on a healthier diet. I think my vanity complex is coming up again.

2006-01-01T22:17:00.000+08:00

Yada yada yada, Happee Nu Yeeerr to everyone etc etc. Well, another new year has dawned upon us but I suppose many of the resolutions will still remain the same. For the women, it's to lose a certain amount of weight while wishing for happiness amongst their friends and those around them and for the guys, it's to lose a certain amount of weight while wishing for happiness to come to them in the form of two gorgeous legs and a slender curvaceous body.

Well anyway, I was just looking through the papers a couple of days ago. The forum in particular and what struck me was how our local readers aren't as creative as they were anymore. In fact, some of them really DO NOT have anything else better to do. I mean, seriously, to write into the papers complaining about the joke that local show Gotcha! played on Perfect 10 DJ Carrie Chong?
Apparently a reader had written in to complain about how the prank that was played could have left "psychological and emotional trauma" on the person. For goodness' sake, it was only meant to be a harmless joke. I mean, sure they did a good job in making it seem like ghosts had actually appeared in the recording studio she was working in but I'm sure as a working adult, she'd be more than capable of controlling herself and preventing herself from becoming a stark, eff-ing paranoid retard right?
The type of rubbish you see in the papers these days.

Let's move on. SO, since I was talking about New Year Resolutions and stuff, I think it would be appropriate if I were to list out my resolutions right here. And in chronological order they would be-

Foresting cash from hong baos collected to purchase CDs I am d-y-i-n-g to get
Graduate from the fishtank of a school and obtain a tertiary study loan of $20,000
Land a secure job at the sports science division and maybe a weekend spa job.
Go into the army and get out asap while finishing my degree!
Pay back bank loan
Get drunk again the following NYE party.

That's pretty much about it lah. There's not much to add unless you wanna know what CDs I'm getting. I'm still in a slight state of shock myself after realizing how many I actually want to get. Where better to say it but here?

First up on the list

Armin van Burren- A state of Trance followed by
Ministry of Sound- Sessions Two (I think this is a compilation of the musik played in Pure. Gosh...I just love the grooves)
Hedkandi- Disco Hedkandi
Hedkandi- Disco 2+4
Hedkandi- Some other albums I can't recall
Jack Johnson's new album in yellow and
Bob Marley- Greatest Hits

Yowza..I reckon it'll probably set me back $300. Hopefully less so I could throw in a book at the tail end!

2005-12-29T13:32:00.000+08:00

Well, coming back at 5.45am last night from the Ministry was a crazy turn of events.
I guess what's fun about hitting the club is that everyone within your age group and generation is just so friendly and fun-loving that it becomes entirely easy to walk out of the place, with a new friend in arms.
Yet ironically, all the more difficult to keep that friend simply because of the uncertainty of the situation. Would your paths cross again? Would you meet again? Where would either of us go from here?

For me, my definition of fun is to get to know as many people as possible. However, I would admit, and I'm not afraid of doing so, that my greatest flaw (or flaws) would come whenever I try to make conversation. It just seems so difficult for me now to make a simple conversation intellectual that it makes it seem like I pass off for a highly boring person. I could potentially blame it on the fact that my daily routine doesn't involve much change or variety because I work with the same people everyday. I coach the athletes from various teams and I talk to the same people and most of it is job-specific talk. Therefore all that banter about what the latest shopping hotspot is or taking to heart how people carry out their shopping in a certain way for some reason just doesn't strike an interest to me.

It really doesn't. And I guess that's where I lose out. Because when people take detail in such insignificant issues, I just don't bother. Force of habit I choose to think of it. What deepens the impact is the presence of a stigma in the level of education one may have against another. For example, I MAY or MAY NOT be with a group of friends who possess a degree, or are enrolled in an undergraduate study course but it is difficult for me to put a voice in anything once people know that I come from a local polytechnic. Well, I'm just hoping that prejudice changes. Soon.
It is natural for normal human beings like me to look up to those with higher qualifications. A masters, an MBA, an MS or even a Ph.D.
Some study law, engineering, business etc. The mainstream stuff that everyone pursues. Herein lies the crux of it all. I feel so low because no one seems to appreciate the fact that a degree in sports science is credible. Some even think I'm choosing to specialise to early in life and some tell me that I'm bound to be a 'PE TEACHER' but my answer to that is No, because there is a need for good coaches and in case you havn't noticed, the field of sports science is what drives the sports industry. Here are the unsung heroes who go unnoticed simply because they are constantly behind the scenes. And yet, a lack of sports scientists still prevails.

I'm just tired of being ignored and being judged as mediocre because people get the impression that what I'm studying now will lead to a low-paying job. The fact of the matter is, I want to do something that I know can and will benefit to a greater cause. It's job security I'm after all. The high-rolling pay is only secondary. Not to be blind, I do realise that the standard of living in Singapore is very high. If you don't have the right amounts of money, one probably wouldn't survive, as so many others say. Yet, have any of you paused to wonder what would happen if everyone had the same money-farming mentality, JUST to stay on top; or even worse, to prove that they are?
I just need my friends. People who can truly understand what I do. Trust me, I understand you, those around me. Perhaps I need to talk more. Or at least learn how to.

2005-12-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

And here they are! My pictures taken from last night's outing! I'm going all out cam-whore people..

"Are we at Zouk yet?"

"No dude, we're at my garage."

"Here's what's behind door number 1"

"Shit..does she come with your cars too?"
"No. The cars come with her"

"Dude, I think you're trippin."

"Well that's only if you've had what I drank and if you think I'm tripping, check out my friend!"

"Bugger, he's gone"

"And so are these two.."
"And I thought YOU were bad"

"Well, they don't seem to disagree! We all know it's in good fun anyway. How'd you like to meet my friend?"
"Sure."
"He's the only 18 year old US Marine I know so far"

"Shit, he's big"
"Yea, and apparently he gets happier when you try to lick his nipple"

"But all in all, it's a really good night well spent with friends."

"I bet it was"

"You could say that again ;) "

2005-12-21T02:15:00.000+08:00

And from my latest trip to Tan Tock Seng this past Monday:

"MRI LUMBAR SPINE:

Saggital T1w and T2w, coronal T2w images of lumbar spine and axial T1w and T2w images of selected discs were obtaines. The last unfused vertebra is designated L5, counting from the cranio-cervical junction.

At the level of L4-L5, there is a broad-based disc bulge with a left paracentral disc protrusion causing thecal sac compression and narrowing of the both exit foramina more on the left side. Loss of signal and height of the discs are also demonstrated (i.e. Degeneration). Annular tear is present.

At the level of L5-S1, annular fissure is demonstrated. Signal loss of the disc is again detected.

There is normal alignment of the lumbar spine. The signal from the marrow, cortical outlines and endplates of the vertebral bodies are normal. The conus medullaris and cauda equina are normal in appearance. The spinal cord ends at the level of T12.

COMMENTS:
Disc disease causing thecal sac compression and narrowing of the both exit foramina more the left side and annular tear at the level of L4-L5.
Annular tear at L5-S1."

Now, for the benefit of those who are not familiar with all the medical terms and jargon, please allow me to give you a brief run through of what a casualty I happen to be. Before we do that, shall we allow ourselves to understand that the human spine is segregated into 3 different sections. Namely, the cervical section which has 7 vertebrae counting from the top of the spine- otherwise known as the atlanto-occipital joint or, the cranio-cervical junction. These are known as C1-C7
Next, is the thoracic area which forms the majority of the spine. This runs for another 12 vertebrae after C7 and are known as T1-T12.
The lumbar area comes thereafter and this is also where my problem mainly lies. Only 5 bones are found within this section and form the L1-L5 vertebrae counting after T12 and these lumbar joints connect to the sacrum otherwise known as the S1 area.

So, bearing these little terms in mind, we move on to let me explain to you, what basically is causing my back to hurt so much.

When we look at the first paragraph,what the radiologist basically is saying is which are the the views taken from the MRI that show where the damage is.
The second paragraph says that between my 4th and 5th lumbar spine, the inter-vertebral disc is bulging more out of the left side, causing a jelly-like sac to compress. What is also present is a loss of bothe breadth and width of my disc; along with something called an annular tear. I'm not really familiar with that term though. This was brought about due to an unfortunate degenerative syndrome that cannot be reversed.

It's not only my L4-5 disc that has been nicely screwed but also my L5-S1 disc. The one just below the L4-5 disc. Again, width loss is apparent.

The last paragraph however, is just a way of consoling me by saying that my back's not crooked nor misaligned. Yippee kye-oh-kye-yay..I didn't have a clue as to what an exit foramina was until I thought about it and realised that it was actually where dumb malay girls would walk through whenever they needed to leave. Exit For-a-mina? Get it?

But anyway, the bottomline thing you guys should understand is this. The intervertebral discs we have, are like slippery but solid jelly-like and water-filled sacs. When any of them get squashed too much or worn out too fast, it's gonna cause pain simply from wear and tear and also the displacement of certain nerve fibers; causing them to fire off their normal electrical signals on other areas other than your muscles which is not a very pleasant experience. And now that two of my discs show no good chance of miraculously expanding back to their original size, it would only be logical for me to wonder what lies in the hands of my physiotherapist to help me get back into shape.

And perhaps my chiropractor.

2005-12-19T18:26:00.000+08:00

In the wake of me being removed from the vocations of athlete and coach temporarily, only one feeling has managed to engulf me and that feeling is bitterness. Although I have to admit that even though that is the primary feeling within me, many others such as sadness, distrust, uncertainty and perhaps, depression surround me.

The story began when I walked into the training centre as usual where my brother, Selwyn and another athlete were awaiting me to take charge of their programs and in the meeting room just next to it, the managing committee of the Singapore Weightlifting Federation (SWF) sat with my coach inside. Heading (or lack of) the federation was Tom. Tom also deals with the supplement and fitness equipment business. As evident as it is within the federation, I am led to assume that his business is having his fair share of losses as well.
Seated next to him was Soo Yong. A man who didn't leave a very good first impression on me at the first meeting we had when I was exposed to his unpleasant side but over certains periods of time, slivers of wisdom and thoughtfulness have shown in him which has served to lift that negative image I have of him to a slight extent.
In front of the two was Soo Yong's wife- Jennifer. Insignificant. And next to her was a man called Charles. A man I soon understood as someone who has never seen me train yet had the audacity to label me as a "rude, and defiant boy". If only I could laugh in his face at the way he spoke and dictated his words before spitting in it but the cold, hard exterior I had on my face was determined to stay on.

I had yet to understand why Mr. Tan was inside but another face had popped into the room. Todd. A big-time High Performance Manager of the athletic monitoring division, Todd's presence remained a question to me. This was a man to be respected, just like Mr. Tan and not like the others who continued to put on sad displays of their authority; much of it is abused and put to use ineffectively, yet there they were, smug looks of disapproval attempting to show me who was boss.

Little did I know that the meeting was called to assess my case concerning my 'atrocious' discipline. A report entitled, "Review of Sherwin Chia" had even been drawn up. I never knew the committee within the SWF had been keeping chronological tabs of what I did since I began lifting, but as diligent as I applaud them for being, I'd strictly believe that if I wanted to search for a record on the good things I'd done instead of the bad, my search and efforts would have amounted to nil.

Soo Yong began to read.
"October 2004. Asian Junior Championships. It was reported by Damon that you went out of the hotel without informing him, only to return at 11pm and when asked as to where the athlete went, no answer was given"

The first thing that struck me was how inaccurate the statement was. I didn't know if some asshole was trying to pull an unfair method of documenting but let me tell you this. When I went out of the hotel, it was because I was invited by one of the liaisons to go out for supper and have a ride around the area. Even before leaving the hotel, I had told Damon that I would be going out with Minny (the name of the liaison) because she had asked me out.
And to be accurate about what I did, I was taken on a tour around Minny's university campus before having supper at a local noodle shop. I suppose Damon never got over the feeling that I got to go out with a girl and he didn't, even though he'd been telling me how much of a crush he had for another liaison but nothing ever happened.

But like a man about to be convicted, I sat there and remained quiet.

"October 8th. The Commonwealth Weightlifting Championships. On the first day, you went to the competition venue without informing the coach, nor the team official to the competition venue. Resulting in both of them having to come look for you."

FFS, it's the first bloody day of my first big competition. So you're gonna sue my ass for taking a f*cking 5 minute walk through a park to the competition venue all because I wanted to take pictures and make friends with international lifters??
The funny thing was, I remembered telling Mr. Tan about me going to the competition hall and he said ok. Therefore, I brought this up to Tom only to have him think he's in the right of way by giving the most condescending look upon me and saying with a crooked smile, "No. That was when I left you and Mr. Tan in the hotel room after lunch."
But yet again, I chose to say nothing, knowing that my claims of innocence would only be relevant to banging my head against a brick wall but I knew what Tom said wasn't true.
When he had left me and Mr. Tan in the hotel room, I suggested that we go together to familiarize ourselves with the venues. And he approved. After which, we left for lunch. Tom had not been with us as he was tending to matters of administration. I don't know what he was up to but I really didn't care.
After lunch, Mr. Tan and I went back to the room before I told him I was going to the competition hall to get pictures taken. Therein lies the truth. But Tom thinks otherwise- that I cannot be trusted to give an accurate testimony and that I am just a small boy with no f*cking brains.
If he claimed that I did not inform Mr. Tan, how then, did they manage to find me? Gee..it must be one of those mysteries you just can't seem to solve then.

I don't want to dwelve into every single detail of the report as I do not want to reminisce in the memory that makes me so angry whenever I think about it. But from what you have seen, what would you think of about the way things are being run in my association?
I would be led to think that the committee is being too entirely anal about matters which do not hold importance. And the really worrying thing is how, all the more, they do not take the proper steps to monitor the athlete's health, check and acknowledge when an athlete has set a personal best at competition (which I have done at all three of the past competitions I've gone to), they do not seem to weigh an athlete's good traits before immediately scrutinizing their shortcomings, which was what happened to me.

I didn't think it was fair, to run me down by making such big fusses over what I did overseas, such as doing my own things for brief periods; not even stop to think about how damn hard I had been working. All the more in the presence of an SSC official. Everything just didn't seem to go the right way. Ok, my friends sometimes think I can get a bit egoistical in the head whenever I'm happy but they're ok. I know I'm decently careful to not tread on people's feet and if you've spoken to me before, you will know. So, at age 19, I'm officially the 3rd strongest man in Singapore, but you don't see me bragging about the bloody thing right? Do you know how many times I blush or feel irked whenever someone asks me how I feel about being there or to "flex a muscle"? It's so retarded. I really don't know..I just think certain people can go to that extent just to prove that they're superior. I do hope they get their heads bloody-well checked.

I have to look back at that meeting as reminder of what I can do to redeem myself now. If you were to ask me now how I feel about the job the SWF is doing, of course I'd say I'm super pissed off at what's been said about me and that I'd hope that an improvement will be made.
Nothing much can be said about the sad situation that it is in. People talk about sport and how Singapore can never improve. Well, if everything is so political, where athletes are f*cked,ignored and thrown aside; and more fuss is made about the insignificant matters like what shirt an athlete wears to training (all of which is relevant to my case), then how the F can you ever expect the performance of sport in this country to improve?

To end off, I'd just like to share one final testimony pertaining to what the SWF tried to do to my reputation in school as a student. Apparently on Friday, when I finished an ICA with one of my teachers, he pulled me up and asked me if I was all right. Sensing that this was about to lead to something, I said 'yea. This concerns something right?'
It was then that he (Mr. Lee) told me that he had received a call by the SWF (Tom), prior to the date of the meeting, inquiring into my history of discipline. Specifically, they had asked if I was punished for any misdemeanours or if I had any disciplinary records on hand.
If this didn't serve the purpose of outrage, I don't know what did. But the good thing is, AND as proof to my innocence in the previously listed and documented testimonies, I have had no disciplinary issues with the school and no bad reputation. I had good connections with my teachers and I did fairly well for my past exams and even one of the best for athletes currently training with Singapore; scoring averages of Bs and one or two As here and there.
Mr. Lee then said the federation had told him to keep an eye on me to ensure that I don't step out of line in school. And I told him, "Sir, I hope you take their words with a pinch of salt". As much as I wanted to add on the remaining words- 'Because they can be full of shit'- I chose not to do so because such language is not obviously condoned in a staff room.
Ironically, as pissed off as I was upon hearing what Tom had tried to do, it was reassuring to know that Mr. Lee had no qualms about me after he said so.
But what was he thinking when he made that call to Mr. Lee? Who was he in thinking that he could take charge and jurisdict my student life?

If poor management could be attributed to this, I hope it could.

2005-12-14T00:48:00.000+08:00

Gee..Banned from Training, Banned from Coaching my own brother. Wasn't exactly a good day today but it only pointed out the flaws of the federation I train for.
But with 3 full bottles of Icewine now in my room, why should I complain?

Perhaps, I should pick up archery and live the life of those scary South Koreans who do nothing but eat, sleep and arch. I mean it, my entire family did archery, so why not? Besides, it's an Olympic sport. If I AM good enough, I may very well make my dream of winning a medal in the Olympics; though it may not be through the doors I originally wanted to step through.
Or maybe skeet/clay shooting would be a challenge. I think the chicks would find it neat that I brandish a shotgun with more than ample authority.

2005-12-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to Me,
Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to Mee-eeee..
Happy, ok enough la.

Well anyway, my birthday' was on Saturday! And being extremely happy, I'll just take the initiative to declare the whole of this week a time to celebrate and revere the occasion of the day I came onto the earth to wreak havoc and mischief among the masses!
Chronologue of last night:
Got tickets at 9 from Steph, went to Mack's place to drink first and save money, headed to zoukout half-drunk, eventually getting (or knicking) myself a vip pass -read as: WOO-HOO!- Danced the night away till 7am at various stages. Armin Van Burren and Stephane Pompougnac were immensely awesome. Though zoukout was 30% gay and tranny population, it did provide quite a sight. Might I add, the gays were handsome and the trannies were H-O-T.
But pretend I never said that. In fact, I never did ;)
Got home at 7.30 and showered before hitting the bed right away, limp as a floppy dog's ear. Was eventually late for the ASCA course but who cares?

And should you decide to head to zoukout next year, here's my guide to getting drunk and smashed as hell.

Drink 5 glasses of red wine- 2001 M. Chapoutier- at your friend's place (preferably with parents who don't mind having alcohol in their presence)
Follow the 5 glasses with a glass of vodka red bull, NO ICE,heavily filled with Smirnoff till past halfway.
Fill 2 shot glasses with Ballantines 12 years malt whiskey and LIGHT THEM. Let it flame till hot and down the buggers.
Follow up with a seperate shot of Absolut Citron, taken in the same way- flamed and hot. I swear to you, no one's dared to drink it the same way I have.
Pause to take a break of fried mealworms (yes, I ate them and they taste like tea leaves)
Finish off with two glasses with Bailey's straight up.
Go to zouk and sneak free beers from friends. Beer of choice- 2 mugs of Heineken sculled in one shot. Thanks to Pat for this very unrefined way of drinking beer :D.
Get up on those podiums and HAVE FUN!

If all else fails, just grab an empty bottle and bring it down on your head. Instant way to GET SMASHED.

Photos'll be up soon!

2005-12-06T18:57:00.000+08:00

So it's Tuesday, a very loooong time since I made my last entry on a Sunday what, two weeks ago? But since then, many things have happened that I wouldn't really bother documenting here other than my recent trip to Cold Storage with my mom last week when I was on MC (and painkillers) due to the herniation of my lumbar disc.

Like I said, there I was at the veggie section but I didn't know if someone decided it would be secretly funny to arrange every STIFF, CYLINDRICAL-shaped vegetable along the same row.
I called it, 'the Phallic section'. I kid you not. Lo and behold, there I was standing in front of the many baskets, starting with Cucumbers, then Carrots, Radishes, Zuchinis before ending with really Big Brinjals. May I add, all these -ahem- vegetables were well over 7 inches long; wonder if they were packed with Vitamin C, IF you know what I mean lol.

I then left to do a little window shopping by myself and no sooner had I stepped out of Cold Storage, my itchy bum, for some apparent reason, had found its way towards Zara where I was suddenly interested in the prospects of obtaining a nice, spanking new suit that I could use for myself.
I called it, "P-day", that Tuesday as everything significant that I could remember (including the Penile vegetables-see what I mean?), began with the letter 'P'. This included the oh-so-hot black pinstripe suit that I picked out for the fun of it. Never in my life had I put on a suit, let alone tried the entire fittings on.

Was it a real transformation? Ohhhh boy, to be honest, I felt REEALLY good :D In no way was I shabby-looking but hey, I event felt myself getting excited..I can't believe I said that!
But to cap things off, I got the price from the really patient sales assistant, Alvin, and it turned out to be $389. Really good for a suit coming from Zara really.
I think I may have just found something I really like for a birthday and christmas present.

In short, "I walked in a pauper, I came out a pimp" ('P's again). And I was everything except Pissed off.